You might think the FBI is really exciting and dangerous and all that because of shows like 24 and movies and whatever. But it turns out that FBI workers are no different than you and I. For example, they use their spy equipment to film underage girls while they’re undressing.

“Now, here’s where you want to position the camera so you can really get a good look at her Hello Kitty panties.”

Two FBI workers are accused of using surveillance equipment to spy on teenage girls as they undressed and tried on prom gowns at a charity event at a West Virginia mall.

The FBI employees have been charged with conspiracy and committing criminal invasion of privacy. They were working in an FBI satellite control room at the mall when they positioned a camera on temporary changing rooms and zoomed in for at least 90 minutes on girls dressing for the Cinderella Project fashion show, Marion County Prosecutor Pat Wilson said Monday.

The Cinderella Project at the Middletown Mall in the north-central West Virginia town of Fairmont drew hundreds of girls from 10 high schools in five counties. Organizer Cynthia Woodyard said volunteers, donors and participants are angry.

“I can’t even begin to put words around what I consider an unspeakable act, the misuse of surveillance by a branch of our government in a place we felt so secure,” she said. “Never in a million years would we have thought something like this would happen. We’re in shock.”

Yeah that’s crazy. I mean, who would think that when you’re a man who excels at espionage and has amazing equipment at your disposal to view private things with great efficiency and quality that you’d use it to view nubile teenage bodies? That’s ludicrous! Sexy teens, yuck! No wonder that Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis has to take public transportation, such a shoddy business idea!

Unless these girls were like 12. In which case, even I have a line. Publicly.

[source]