Baseball season is kicking off today so here’s a helpful reminder of the basics of the game, as taught to you by an eight foot tall retarded dog. Enjoy.

Unfortunately this was shot before the times of performance enhancing drugs leading to 700 foot home runs, acne-filled backs, and more objects going into bare behinds than the ass-to-ass scene in Requiem for a Dream. But it doesn’t really reference the excesses of the modern baseball player either, like Babe Ruth. Goofy doesn’t teach you how to drink obscenely and eat triple-fried steak sandwiches or how to plow through husky 1920s “hotties” while on a twelve day opium bender, then somehow wake up and hit 3 home runs despite being built like one of those Russian dolls that have other dolls inside of them. Typical Goofy, never really getting to the bottom of things with his investigative reporting.