Via Basic Instructions comes this look at how to really save the Earth from its litany of ecological problems.

Yesterday was Earth Day and you can tell how much I gave a shit over how often I mentioned it. I just don’t care about saving the world…if the world wants to kick us off it for having too many factories that make too much rubber vomit or Rascal scooters, then f it, who cares. And then people have the nerve to get mad at me because I use plastic water bottles instead of refilling them at the water cooler. Mother Earth can go screw. I would f a panda in its ass if it meant that would somehow undo the “good” things all the environmental-type people do. Or if it were a particularly sexy panda.