I’ve never seen the show Cheaters on MTV but apparently I’m missing out. Commitment is hard for anyone, but it’s especially hard for this chick who can’t seem to commit, so she dresses up like a construction worker clown and has sex with other women.

I don’t think I’ve been cheated on before so it’s hard to relate to this. And even if I had been cheated on before, having a girlfriend pop out a black baby or something would be pretty awkward, but not quite as awkward as having an MTV show film my girlfriend at a lesbian clown construction worker sex party. In fact, that’s such an absurd combination of adjectives and descriptors that I can’t even conjure up a punchline along the lines of, “The only thing that would make this more absurd is…” because there really isn’t anything. So once again, lesbian clown construction workers have proven to f me over. Like how they never fixed that hole in my dyke. They just kept licking it and trying to rub its clitoris while honking their big red noses. I want repairs, not sapphic clownic erotica!

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