I suck at setting up skits but here we go…what would it look like if single starlet Lindsay Lohan ditched the blow long enough to make an eHarmony profile? Why, I think it might look a little something like this:

It’s hard for a celebrity to find a meaningful relationship with someone since they’re always so insulated from society. And when they’re out in public and someone can actually strike up a meaningful dialogue, how can you know if they’re genuinely interested in you as a person instead of your fame? I’d think that if you have such social cache, having a man like myself wanting you primarily for your sweet jugs is probably a welcome change.

Anyway, here’s to hoping this leads to something of a Lindsay Lohan rebirth where she gets her image and understands that the best way to repair it is to not take herself too seriously. Or that she ends up making a sex tape, as has been rumored. Either way, I’d be pretty content.