A Pennsylvania woman found out she was infertile but, darn it, she wanted kids really bad. So she did some soul-searching and came to the totally logical conclusion that she should drug her 13 year-old daughter and have her boyfriend rape her to impregnate her. Clever.

If only the creators of the Parenting Puzzle had known you could solve the puzzle with druggings and rape attempts. Always the simplest solutions, sigh.

A western Pennsylvania mother has been charged with giving her 13-year-old daughter drugs and alcohol so the woman’s boyfriend could get the girl pregnant, police said Thursday.

Shana Brown, 32, is no longer able to have children but wanted to have a baby with her current boyfriend, Duane Calloway, said Uniontown Police Det. Donald Gmitter. The pair decided to drug the girl so Calloway, 40, could have sex with her without her knowledge, he added.

Brown has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child and was to turn herself into police later Thursday, Gmitter said. Brown’s attorney did not immediately return a call for comment.

Calloway faces several counts of attempted rape. He was arrested Wednesday and remains in Fayette County Jail. It was not immediately clear if he had an attorney

The girl told police the plot was apparently hatched sometime in December after she rejected her mother’s proposal that she allow Calloway to impregnate her and then marry him.

In the following months, Calloway attempted to rape the girl three times, Gmitter said.

The first time, in February, the girl was alone with Calloway while her mother went out to buy pizza, according to the criminal complaint. Calloway began groping her and she kicked him away, the documents stated.

A few weeks later, the girl believes her mother spiked her Pepsi with rum, according to police. The girl told them she felt ill after drinking the Pepsi, passed out and later threw up. She was also partially naked when she woke up and Calloway was in the room, according to the criminal complaint.

In fairness, the mom DID ask the daughter first. So, that’s pretty much license to rape and druggings, right? Otherwise, man, I really did not learn anything from my Mike Tyson etiquette class.

The problem other than the druggings and rape (which is a pretty big leap of faith to take, I know) is that the mom and boyfriend didn’t really think outside the box. She would probably need to be sexually active, first of all, in order for her to be pregnant and not instantly know mom and Boyfriend McRapekit weren’t at fault. And second, how about you try a turkey baster? Did it have to be rape? Do you have to DOUBLE the trauma to your daughter? Moms trying to impregnate their daughters with their boyfriends’ sperm really don’t think enough these days.

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