No? Still just 14? Uh, well then.
Since there’s literally no civilized nation which would currently consider Dakota Fanning legal, I’m going to discuss food. You know when you get a piece of nice rib eye steak from the butcher and you bring it home and look at it and know it has to cook a bit. So you put some butter on it, slap it on a pan and begin searing away. And it starts to sizzle. Maybe it looks a little off at first, like it’s not going to turn out properly. But then it starts to get browned on the outside and it starts rounding into form. And even though it’s still a little rare inside, it’s definitely not medium well like most people like it, it’s juicy. Perfect. Ready to be devoured.
Oh that wasn’t symbolic or anything, I just think steaks are awesome. As for Dakota Fanning? She’s something that rhymes with “berry truckable.”
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April 27, 2009
#1
I hear Mexico has 13 as a minimum age
April 28, 2009
#2
Are you a pedophile? Because you certainly aren’t funny, and your writing isn’t clever.
April 28, 2009
#3
Friend, you’re searching “dakota fanning prom pictures” in the privacy of your own home and you’re claiming to be “Not a Slimeball”? You might want to reevaluate that, he who doth protest too much. And tend to the kids presently chained in your basement.
April 29, 2009
#4
@ Chris: your retort to the Slimeball is brilliant. Kudos to you, Sir.