I love the show Saved by the Bell. Somehow, some brave soul found a way to make the show even better by adding random bleeps. It starts slow but really picks up, so stick with it.

When I was a kid, I so desperately wanted to be Zack Morris. But no matter how often I snapped my fingers and said, “Freeze,” groping women only resulted in strange looks or arrests. It was probably because I didn’t go with the blonde dye job. Peroxide, what can’t you do?

This isn’t even a joke, but at random times during the day on occasion, I’ll start singing the Bayside High fight song. Bee-buh-buh-buh–buh-buh-bee-bee-BEE-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-BEE go Bayside! Yet I can’t remember the number of my debit card which I’ve had for over a year. What the f does that say about the worthless mass of flesh inside my skull? Answer: Mark-Paul Gosselaar probably fed my eardrum once when I wasn’t looking. Sneaky.

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