Pedophilia is fairly hilarious so long as you’re not the one getting the whiskey-breath and stubbly chin of a relative on your neck. But sometimes it can hit a little too close to home, like when some dude has a van with a “Free Candy Inside” sign on it and a mattress in the back.

Provo police are investigating a bizarre incident this week: a van parked in a residential neighborhood with a sign on it, reading: “free candy inside.”

It turns out, police believe the sign was harmless. But for neighbors who live in Provo’s Grandview neighborhood, it raised serious concerns with them that a child predator could be targeting kids on the street.

The white van was parked on a neighborhood street in front of a home. No one on the street knew who the van belonged to, and the neighbors were worried about the sign posted in the back window.

Officers tracked down the van’s owner, who is a college age student. He told officers he put up the sign a few days ago as part of a prank with his friends.

It’s kind of funny to do this because, really, I don’t think many pedophiles are outright announcing their candidacy for your child’s bunghole with signage. But at the same time, I’d probably say the same thing if I saw a live coyote seemingly laying down dynamite. Then just like that, I meep no more.

Are there any children dumb enough now to fall for free candy? Like, if I were a kid, I’d want toys and games and electronics. It’s called inflation. Fucking stupid kids and their lack of economic understanding. This is why you end up wetting yourself and crying for your mommy. Should have paid more attention in business school.

[via]