I’ve often wondered how parents can have sex when they have kids because those darn children are so demanding. Now, I know…they just pull over to the side of the road and have sex with the kids in the back seat.

Meet Danica Wallace and Jeremy Welch. The Ohio couple was arrested Friday after cops spotted them having sex in a car while Wallace’s two small children were in the vehicle’s back seat.

According to a Springfield Police Department report, a copy of which you’ll find here, Wallace, 24, was driving a Ford Taurus when she and Welch, 29, “pulled off the roadway to have sex.”

When police approached the vehicle, they discovered Wallace, naked from the waist down, astride a similarly pantsless Welch, who was seated in the front passenger seat.

Welch, who was “extremely intoxicated,” offered cops a simple explanation for the pair’s conduct: “We got horny and just wanted to f!!”

Oh yeah Welch, I think we’ve all been there bro! Sometimes a dude just needs to bang! And who can blame him with the MILF at his side. Never has frayed hair, dried skin, and serious bruising around the neck looked so tasty. Kids, pretend the beastly groans coming from mommy and daddy are just a poorly orchestrated Dora the Explorer song.

Granted, I’m not a parent and am probably not “fatherly” or “sober” enough to be one at this time, but I think it’s pretty safe to say this isn’t a great showing of parenting skills. There are Taiwanese mothers who led their child into a life of transexual prostitution who’ll finish ahead of these two in the Parent of the Year awards. At least that Taiwanese kid didn’t have to get splashed in the face by daddy’s “enthusiasm.”

[via]