Some guy got dumped by his chick so he spent nine (NINE!!!) months making this video for her. If that premise alone gave you the douche chills, wait until you actually watch it.

You don’t know how many times in my life I’ve had to mend a relationship by flipping over two enormous tires in spandex bike shorts. Sure, you could fix the emotional problems…ORRRR YOU COULD DO A LOT OF HEAVY LIFTING OF SHIT AND TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT IN SOMEWHAT HOMOEROTIC FASHIONS! I often hear complaints from my girlfriend, “You know, if you don’t start hanging a flag with my name on it up on a mountaintop, I don’t really think we have a future.” Psh, women. Then again, maybe if he had at least one form of vehicular transportation that worked on the first try when starting it, she’d realize he has some value as a man.

Anyway, good luck with your wooing of your whore, Ben Ryan. One can only hope that Loren is as incapable of understanding irony as yourself and finds this completely touching.

UPDATE: More on Ben Ryan and his alleged nuttiness here. Oh, true love. Sometimes you get so stalk-y.