Even with the economy in the shitter, apartments are expensive. I’m depositing on one today, supposedly, and I’m pretty sure somebody’s going to require a handjob. At least, that’s typically how I assume you close a deal. Anyway, this dude lives in a closet.

Sergio Santos’ home is a closet.

Five and a half feet wide, by 14 feet long, or 77 square feet, to be exact.

“I was really struggling to pay for the place I used to live. I decided to look for something cheap,” he explains.

The rent is $150 a month and to furnish his pad, Sergio spent a whopping $64.

“I have just become very well-fitted here,” he said.

The “room” is equipped with a small microwave oven and a mini-refrigerator.

He shares a community bathroom with other renters on the same property.

Check out the photos. It’s kind of f’ing enraging that I have an apartment with at least 10x the square feet valued at thousands more, and I can pretty much guarantee it doesn’t look as nice. Especially with all the dead bodies lying around.

Whatever, f this guy. I’ve been living in the closet for years but no one ever writes a profile on me. All they do is poke their penis through the hole in the bathroom stall and stand there with their hands on their hips. I’m not sure if it’s because that’s the accepted way you’re supposed to stand or if they’re conveying impatience. Just kidding guys…these are jokes. I only suck dicks for money or drugs, not out of personal preference.

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