Via Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal comes this important lesson on how to deal with monsters under your child’s bed.

Monsters are pretty scary though. Every time I used to stay over at one particular friend’s house when I was little, there was a monster that would come out in the middle of the night and make my butt hurt. It was doubly bad because the monster would do this after my friend would sodomize me. That’s what we call a switch joke, friends. A switch joke that brings back to life too many repressed memories.