When you look at American ads for Sprite and contrast it with this German version, you tell me…which makes you hunger more for the world’s favorite splash of lemon, lime, and acidic bubbles? The video is sort of NSFW.

Man, I am so jonesing for a Sprite right now. Also a big black penis, ideally served near a traditional kitchen. Crazy how effective advertising is sometimes.

Ironically, in a very progressive move, one of the most famous American Sprite commercials was going to incorporate the images in this ad. It was the one with the kid seeing Grant Hill drink Sprite then deciding that, since Grant Hill drinks Sprite that if he drank some, he could dunk just like him, but then the kid hits the front of the rim and presumably ends up paralyzed. The original ending for that commercial had that kid passed out on the floor, only to have 7-Up’s mascot Spot come over and rape-blow him until he blew a load of carbonated deliciousness all over his 1980s sunglasses to show that not only does Sprite satiate the competitor, but also Spot is a rapist with cum on his sunglasses. Would it translate to sales? I guess we’ll never know.

Update: The video isn’t a real ad, like I think we all suspected but I wanted to believe. In related news, how f’ing ridiculous must you feel being the blonde chick knowing that you shot this absurd video and it wasn’t even for anything but some ad director’s amusement? Then again, the only other acting gigs in Germany are crap porn, so take the bookings you can get, I guess.