Belmullet is a town in Ireland. And, from what I can gather from this headline, it might be the greatest place in the history of the world.

Now, I never really studied economics beyond my success in Monopoly (if I ever find myself in a position of power, I hope I can somehow convert my likeness into that of a giant top hat), but I feel like giving out free blowjobs would probably be a great fix to an economic downturn. After I finish after a BJ, I pretty much lie there paralyzed, completely susceptible to acquiescing to any demand. I think I lost a kidney and ended up as an indentured servant after a particularly good one once.

Call me crazy, but I don’t think that was the actual intent of the news story though. Then again, who knows, it’s Ireland.

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