Rainbows

Via The Onion comes this comic brewing about the war that the media is too scared to discuss.

kellyrainbowsunicorns Rainbows

That’s kind of crazy when you think about it. Maybe it’s because when they were growing up, gay dudes secretly wanted all of the little girls’ toys? That makes psychological sense, I think.

You’d have to imagine that Jesse Jackson is regretting naming his group The Rainbow Coalition. I definitely think of gay guys more than I do black people when I think rainbows. I think a good idea would be to walk into a Rainbow Coalition meeting with assless chaps and a team flag that says “<3 Cocks!" and then look around confusedly, then slink out of the room. That'd totally throw them off hating the white man for at least five minutes.

Chris Spags Chris is a comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. He previously ran Blog of Hilarity and has contributed to numerous other prominent outlets. Known for his biting wit and nose for interesting items, there is no doubt that Chris smells better than any other writer that you can find.

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24 comments
  1. Jesse Garon says:

    You are fostering hate by your story. Please reread what you have written and rethink it. You can see what the city of LOUISVILLE KENTUCKY, under Mayor Jerry Abramson and the METRO LOUISVILLE HUMAN RELATIONS COMMISSION (sometimes known as the HRC) are doing to keep from complying with the FEDERAL HATE CRIMES STATISTICS ACT. The CITY OF LOUISVILLE KENTUCKY throught THEIR HUMAN RELATIONS COMMISSION / HRC has brought suit against the GAY HATE CRIMES VICTIMS. The city of Louisville KY is asking the KY SURPREME COURT to allow the CITY OF LOUISVILLE to take over the gay hate crimes victims civil damages of over $500,000 (which the HUMAN RELATOINS COMMISSION put in writing as "NEEDED TO MAKE THE COMPLAINANT WHOLE". The city now want to settle the gay hate crimes victim's case for less than 1/2 of 1% of the actual written damages the CITY says were needed to make the victims whole. WHY? In a sworn statement to the COURT, Kellie Watson, the director of the HRC / human relations commission said it is just too time consuming and expensive for the hrc to keep fighting for the victim and that in the best interest of the HRC / human relations commission would the court allow the HRC to settle the damages for less than 1/2 of 1% of what the very same director of the HRC signed as NEEDED TO MAKE THE COMPLAINANT WHOLE. see it all at http://www.louisvillekentuckyhatecrimes.com

  2. Michael says:

    You're weird. Gay guys? You know that there are Lesbians out there too, when you refer to gays. Wow, you are lost. Bigot. Blacks have the right to have strong feelings toward whites. Some handle it better than others. If your grandparents were chained, hung, beaten, raped by the white man, you might be angry too. Missy (dude or chic), I suggest that you be thankful that God has given you the gift of living and try to understand what your purpose on His earth is. I think all people should start there. This world would be better off if they just stopped and thanked God for their life (given to them by Him) and as we see with Michael Jackson, taken when He (God) feels fit.

  3. Jessica says:

    Bigot. You need to get a life. This isn't news. This is biased hatred. Pull this stick out of your goddamn ass, and learn to accept people. If you knew ANYTHING at all, you would understand what the rainbows symbolize, but your head is too far up in the fucking clouds.

  4. Chris says:

    The hell are you people on about?

  5. Jessica says:

    And by the way, this isn't hilarity. This isn't funny. This isn't humourous. This isn't amusing. And too afraid to put your name? Why is that? Because you know you're wrong? I think it's more than just that. You're so insecure with yourself that you can't be open-minded enough to accept positive and different lifestyles. No one's forcing you or anyone else to be gay, lesbian, transexual, transgender, or bisexual. It's a lifestyle, and people aren't going to change or hide who they are, including you since you seem to be able to post this total bullshit, but not even accept credit for your ridiculous actions.

  6. Chris says:

    My name is to the right of the site. As are my fan pages. If you actually read something, including this post which really makes no statement about homosexuality at all but rather makes light of an outlandish situation, you'd see that I'm quite pro-gay.

    But yes, it is humor and yes I'm fantastic and yes you should probably die in a fire.

  7. John says:

    Jeez, what a STEAMING LOAD!

    I never wanted to have "girl things" and I wouldn't want a man who did.

  8. Bill Ivey says:

    I have never noticed this kind of trash on AOL before. Makes me want to consider changing to another source.

  9. Andy says:

    Hi!! When I was a little girl, I loved rainbows. I still do, but I cannot have a rainbow on my clothes or jewelery because people would think I am gay. I am a happily married woman. Too bad rainbows were taken from little girls and anyone else who like them that are not gay. Sorry, but that is how I feel.

  10. Tram says:

    lol this is funny! It's true too, its also so funny how mad you guys get when you and your horrible, deceitful, hyporcritical president says things just as bad and MOST of the time worse about those against homosexuality! And really….if your honost, can you really hear the word, think of, or see rainbows and NOT think about this??? Most likely, no. They have corrupted things as innocent as rainbows that now it is no longer synonamous to children but to homosexuals. We can't even have rainbows for children anymore because no one ever knows what you are saying with it. This is just one example of how homosexuals are ruining this country- yes, ruining… You've all said much harsher things to us so don't cry.

  11. Bill says:

    The reason why rainbow colors, not rainbows themselves, are a symbol for gays is because people's sexuality is just as varied as the colors in the rainbow. This, I beleive is why Jesse Jackson also chose the rainbow as a symbol of human diversity. It can still be something that little girls and boys enjoy. In the Bible, a rainbow was used as a symbol of a new beginning when it appeared after the flood. As for unicorns, I don't know a single gay person that would say this is a gay thing. I think the cartoonist should get their facts "straight" before creating something that may influence how the general public may perceive another group of people. The cartoon also depicts gays as being mean, cruel and anti-american. This is far from the truth. We are not ruining this country and it saddens me to think that other fellow Americans feel that way.

  12. Michelle says:

    I think it's amazing how you people can turn just about ANYTHING into something political or racist. It is just a blog. It is an opinion.
    Intellegent people know the difference between what the gay community is trying to communicate vs what a little girl or boy for that matter is trying to get across when they draw a rainbow!
    God Bless America that we have the freedom to write and say what we think.

  13. loni says:

    I can honestly say, this is a sad conversation for many reasons which I won't go into. However, I will say two points that are pretty fair according to the constitution, every one has a right to believe and have the freedom to speak the such. I, myself, am not a prejudiced person. However, the RAINBOW was made by God, clearly written for a reason. It belongs to Him as a symbol of clarity. It was a gift to rejoice a punishment done, by God himself. I do not believe it belongs to the "gays". I don't think that is a fair claim for them to hold this as their symbol. It is as if they have taken away "Santa" from the little ones. It is time to let it go–if you are gay–so what–just leave it be–stop throwing it in people's faces, stop the demands, go on with your life, as all do, instead of spending your time bitching about everything you don't have. What's the big deal about the legalized marriages? Over 50% of heterosexual people are just living together, without the big up-roar. Just because it is not legal, why piss and moan about it. Should we now begin to legalize hashish, it is a "natural" plant on earth. If you are gay and feel betrayed by the chromosomes given to you by your parents, that is no reason to try and destroy the miracle of the rainbow made by God, given to ALL, not to be CLAIMED as a statement–other than the one it was originally made for. I , honestly, can't wait till the whining is over, and I bet God has trouble putting out that rainbow for all to see, as it seems to cause so much greed from the homosexuals and disdain from others and Not seen for the actual miracle it is!!!!!!!!!

  14. jenni says:

    okay well, first id like to say that you're quite ignorant. i respect your opinion, afterall-no one can tell you what to think, but you should probably keep things like this to yourself or people close to you. i agree its not funny, nor is the message you're trying to get across to people. rainbows, unicorns, and the color pink are still for little girls, or boys, or whoever the hell likes them, just because the rainbow colors are used to represent the gay community it doesnt mean others cant like them-or put them on their cars for that matter. and if this is truly your concern, maybe you should clear your mind because in reality its people with your mentality that make this "true" to your children, not homosexuals. and another thing, how is being gay anti american? (i.e. the burning flag in the cartoon) everyone is entitled to their beliefs and likes. stop spreading hate. and if you're pro-gay then why post this?

  15. jenni says:

    And i agree with the comment above mine saying a blog is just an opinion, these comments all are. and this: "Intellegent people know the difference between what the gay community is trying to communicate vs what a little girl or boy for that matter is trying to get across when they draw a rainbow!", is also true.

  16. Lauren says:

    The International Order of Rainbow Girls had to change their flag because the one crafted for the gay rights movement is nearly identical and too many people got confused! The Rainbow girls are an org for girls 11-20. This masonic youth service organization has been around since 1922. http://www.rainbow.org/what.php Actually the gay community literally took their flag! http://www.crwflags.com/fotw/flags/qq-rb_h.html
    This is not a shot at the gay community, simply a true fact, that they used flags that were made for the IORG.

  17. Helen says:

    The world had gone to hell in a hand basket and it's people who 'have the freedom (won for them by those who believed in God and what the bible has to say about sleeping with the same sex…..yep, it's in there…..yep, being gay back then was wrong that's why they stayed 'in the closet') to write and say what they feel, that has screwed up this society. Sit back and watch folks. In 30 years it will be acceptable to have sex with a dog or any other animal……after all this is America and we can do what we damn well want because that's our right. Right? Sick people are walking around, scary isn't it ?

  18. Michelle says:

    Helen,

    Funny that you should say that about the animals…I am not joking…there is actually an article on here about a woman who just married her dog! You are correct…the world has gone to hell in a handbasket! But there are still quite a bit of great people out there as well. It would be nice to read about them once in a while!

  19. mezl says:

    when i see rainbows i just think how cool they are. rainbows know nothing of politics or people controversies. although… i don't think some people are gonna like the picture of the burning flag the one dude is holding… don't bother me none, but it will certainly get others upset.

  20. Alley says:

    What a ridiculous argument. First of all, I find this quite amusing. Not to say that its politically correct or a proper thing to post on the internet, but funny nonetheless. One of the problems people have is that they take themselves way too seriously. If anyone argued that gays "took" symbols from anyone, its a completely ludicrous thing to say. It isn't as if, to my knowledge, that the gay community has copyrighted rainbows or anything else of that nature. They have just as much right as anyone else to use symbols. It is not their fault what ignorant people assume because someone else wears them. And the argument about the Rainbow Coalition is also an opinion. However, the people of European descent today have never kept a slave or anything of that nature and should not be punished because of their ancestors' actions. That would be like saying, "You're grandfather killed my wife, so I'm going to kill yours." Two wrongs don't make a right, especially when you're punishing someone who has committed no wrong. The author was simply stating an opinion. And quite simply, grow up and learn to laugh at yourselves. Geez.

  21. Alley says:

    Oh and one more thing. Its great that you have a strong belief in God, but if you're telling people to keep their orientation to themself and not throw it in other peoples faces. Maybe you should do the same with your religious beliefs. They are just as offensive as anything else.

  22. JB says:

    First of all…we need to reclaim the world "gay" from all the homosexuals. Who gave it to them anyway. If I am at a party and everyone is acting gay, I am allowed to say "they are al gay in there" without people thinking they are all homosexual. Rainbows belong to God..and all the colors in them. Furthermore……CHAPS ARE ALL ASSLESS!!! Stop calling them assless chaps for pete's sake. CHAPS BY DEFINITION ARE ALREADY ASSLESS!!! That's like saying….motorized motorcycle…duh!!!

  23. Bull Slam says:

    Rainbows belong to little girls as their exclusive property? I think not! This is just a buncha jail-bird Christianity's usual hatred. You people are not Christian you are nothing more than tribal level idolators, such as are found in prison. You are Primitives: morally, ethically, theologically.

    You people emerge from watching your TV Wrestling just long enough to spew vileness about gays and pop a top on another out-of-work-beer.

    I am tired of it, so I am taking Jesus away from you people. Jesus belongs to my kind of Christians. So don't even think about it. You are not Christians anymore. So don't even think about using Jesus' name.

    Oh, and the rainbow belongs to me, too. You can't have that either.

  24. mad biatch says:

    Wow the worse thing is when a unimportant person like you make such an ignorant comment about homosexuals.I am a lesbian and it sucks when people like you make such negative comments about our life style.Its hard as it is to come out to people and now people like you making such rude remarks.Even my 15 year old sister is more mature than that.

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