I don’t post the stupid questions on Yahoo Answers too often because they often seem fake and cliche. But this one tickled my fancy for some reason.

I have to say, there are probably more questions about vaginas and their various mysteries on Yahoo Answers than anything else. And with good reason. Sure, we all know about labias and vulvas and whatever, but when it comes down to a question of function, many people just don’t have enough hands-on experience with them. That’s why I pioneered the “Let 13 Year-Olds Finger A Prostitute Who Ideally Doesn’t Have Crabs, But Beggars Can’t Be Choosers I Guess” initiative for schools. I figure if you let a guy toy with a vagina for a bit, eventually he’ll have a rough idea of how things work. At least enough to not look like a total asshole when he actually needs to know what to do.

As for the actual question, the answer is: I sure hope they do close up, otherwise I have really been misleading that middle school health class. In so many ways.