I have to admit I’m not huge on hip-hop lately but I’ve heard of this dude Drake before. And even if I hadn’t I can see no better way to become familiar with him than this video of him slipping on the stage and tearing his knee.

I remember when the rap genre used to be about street cred and how gangsta this guy or this guy was. Now Lil Wayne looks like Whoopi Goldberg after she passed out at a frat party and everyone took turns drawing on her and this dude Drake is prancing around the stage dressed like an Express salesperson. I need an air of danger from my hip hop, like the guy might threaten me with gunfire if I don’t adequately raise the roof. But I don’t get that sense any more. At worst, I feel the lingering threat of these guys vaguely insulting me to friends behind my back or making passive aggressive comments about my career path to me. “Oh, it seems like you’ve finally settled down into middle management. That’s great, I mean not everyone can be CEO, you know?” said Drake. Enjoy your ice cream and physical therapy, friend.