Perhaps the best headline in the history of headlines? Yes. Some stripper raped a dude. Shocker, he didn’t like it.

An Australian stripper hired for a bachelor party has been found not guilty of rape by a court in Melbourne. Linda Maree Naggs who works under the name “Tiffany” came to the party came armed with a whip, vibrator and “strap-on penis shaped” sex toy.

The best man gave evidence at the trial of being pressured by his peers into sitting on the seat where Naggs performed her routine.

Ms Naggs, the second stripper of the evening, was charged with rape after a scene in which the best man got naked on all fours and she applied lube then moved the strap-on against his “bottom area”. Witnesses described how at one point the best man “sort of screamed” and winced.

During the trial, the alleged victim told the County Court he urged Ms Naggs not to put the sex toy into his anus and was shocked when she did.

“I was pretty upset at that stage,” he said.

“I could feel something was there.”

Never has forcible sodomy been so underplayed as in these two quotes.

What a terrible strip club though. Strip clubs suck for the most part because I’m not getting off and, if I am, I have to go backstage and pay way more money or get a new pair of pants. Plus weak mixed drinks. But then you throw in me getting raped and it’s just like, enough already. This is why I stopped going to family reunions, you know?

[via]