It’s pretty much the most cliched plot device around, but fictional mobile phone companies never seem to address the lack of a signal fictional customers face at the most inopportune times. Here’s a collection of those failures.

If you ever wake up and find yourself in a horror movie, just invest in a satellite phone. Sure you could sit around and ask questions like, “Am I in a horror movie?” or “How did I end up in a horror movie?” but would that really help save your life? Probably not. But satellite phones get reception everywhere, thanks to the powers of satellites. Even when you’re getting chased by a guy in a prison jumpsuit and a mask made of human flesh, your satellite phone will be there, unlike your friend John who got killed by said guy in prison jumpsuit. Real reliable, John. As always. Anyway long story short, that’s why I chained you up in the basement. Experiential learning is always the best.