No quote in this story, but it’s still pretty great. Some guy wanted to divorce his wife, but she wouldn’t let him, threatening to kill herself if he did. So he had to take a more unconventional route to getting away, involving robbing a bank so he’d get thrown in jail. Ah, just how a loving marriage was meant to be built.

A Pennsylvania man said he robbed a bank in 2007 to go to jail and get away from his overbearing wife.

At a sentencing hearing Monday, 39-year-old Anthony Miller said he robbed a bank in Ephrata because he wanted to leave his then-wife but she had threatened to commit suicide if he did.

Defense attorney Robert Beyer said Miller approached tellers with a BB gun, asked for money and told them to call the police.

Miller pleaded guilty in June. Lancaster County Judge Louis Farina sentenced him to three to six years in prison on Monday.

Was it worth the three to six years? Probably not, since they ended up getting divorced within the past year. But he probably would have gotten much more time in jail if she did kill herself. Maybe it’s just my innate lack of self confidence shining through, but I feel like the cops would say, “She killed herself over YOU? Yeah right buddy, get in jail. You’re going to the Ass Rape Sector for that lie.” Hopefully that’s just a name and that’s where all the husbands who hated their wives go and high five each other.

That’s how I used to feel when buying condoms as a teenager. The cashier would look at me and think, “Okay, waste your money.” And she was right, I was wasting my money. It’s much cheaper to wear a fake mustache, not pull out, then yell “Señor Eduardo knows nada about fatherhood,” and dive out of the window. The chicks must be cool with it too because, wow, what a story.

[via]