I personally love it when regular people overcome fear and stop some douche from doing something highly illegal. So how could it get any better? By this hero, Justin Chentnik, opting to do his crimestopping in the nude. Me-OW.

Chentnik jumped out of bed and saw the reverse lights on [roommate Laura] Nelson’s 2003 Mitsubishi Montero. Indifferent to his lack of clothing, he ran from his house in the 2800 block of Seventh Street in Boulder, opened the passenger-side door of the moving car and took the keys out of the car. Nelson called police.

The man who had tried to drive away in the car jumped out, Chentnik said, and the two men began struggling in the street. Chentnik grabbed the man by his shirt and pulled him onto the lawn.

“I was naked, and I thought, ‘If I’m going down, I better not do it in the street,’” he said.

The man had a full wine bottle — a Louis Jadot Pinot Noir — and hit Chentnik on the head with it, he said. Chentnik then grabbed the bottle and hit the man in the face.

When police arrived five minutes later, they found Chentnik straddling the man’s chest in his front yard.

“I needed Skip [his dog] to bring me my underwear,” he said.

I wonder if the criminal didn’t break away from Chentnik’s straddling because of being trapped or if he just enjoyed the view. What an uncomfortable time to have a stirring life realization.

If I were the criminal, I’d have just started crying and said it was a lover’s quarrel. Sure, maybe the police would find out the truth, but naked dude would have been so busy explaining it all away, I could probably just whistle and sneak away. Some master criminal this guy is.

[Colorado Daily]