A rule was instituted this week at Tufts University in Boston that you can’t have sex in front of your roommate. And the head of Harvard’s abstinence club is pretty stoked about it.

The head of Harvard University’s abstinence club, reacting to the news that nearby Tufts University is curtailing dorm-room sexcapades, says it’s no laughing matter when things go bump in the night.

“I’ve had several friends who’ve gone through it,” said Rachel Lynn Wagley, co-president of the True Love Revolution, a Harvard-sanctioned group devot staying hanky-panky free.

Citing the experience of a friend tormented by a roommate’s co-ed sheet-twisting, Wagley said, “She’s a very sweet girl. She didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to say, and didn’t want to start something with her roommate, so she basically put up with it and spent the whole year in terror.”

In response to student complaints about free-spirited dorm frolics, Tufts this year drafted a new policy barring students from having sex in dorm rooms if their roommate is present. But Wagley wants to know: “Whatever happened to common decency?”

Yeah, whatever happened to common decency? You should at least invite your roommate in if you’re going to have sex in the room while they’re there. The good Lord gives a lady three orifices for a reason.

Bet you think I’m going to make fun of the abstinent girl. Well, you’re wrong! Mostly because she’s kind of cute, assuming she’s the one of the left. Women are totally allowed to be abstinent up to a certain age. How can you fault a girl for taking less penises if you get to be the first one? Plus having sex with a virgin is like getting into a boxing match with a guy with no arms…you look like Floyd Mayweather Jr. when you’re boxing a guy with no arms. Not like he’s been in the ring before, he doesn’t know that you usually prematurely knock yourself out and fall asleep in the corner of the ring with your teddy bear when you’re going up against seasoned competitors.

[Boston Herald]