I’d like to take a moment to salute the courage of firefighters everywhere. Without them, the Fiery Menace would engulf us all, barbecuing us to the point of complete deliciousness (presuming everyone takes a nightly bath in marinade as I do). But not only do these firefighters deal with dangerous fire, they have other unexpected nemeses, as this closed-captioning pic will attest.

That’s so brave. You never want to come face to face with an army of ejaculating civilians. Unless that’s part of your line of work, like a stripper. Then that’s basically validating you as being someone who simply does a great job. I genuinely believe that. Bouncers at strip clubs tend to be less than capable of understanding the concept of positive reinforcement, however.