Bars hold a special place in my heart. I’ve spent the good part of my youth either sitting in them, drinking in them and on about more than a few occasions, being removed from them by some sort of barland security. I can’t pinpoint the exact number, but second hand accounts and police reports like to put the over/under at 15. What can I say, when I have a bit of whiskey I have a tendency to get a tad mouthy. My point is–I’m an adult beverage establishment aficionado. I’ve saddled up to bars all across this great country and while the beer specials are always different, there is one thing that always remains the same.

Music.

Whether it’s an upscale pub in New York, a hole-in-the-wall dive in Tennessee, or just a patio that overlooks the Pacific in Los Angeles; I’ve seen them all. And no matter where I’ve been, there are always certain songs that I can never avoid hearing on the overhead speakers. Chances are that you’re in the same boat as I am. Unless you’re Helen Keller, you are guaranteed to hear at least one of these songs every time you go out to a bar.

Piano Man by Billy Joel

If Billy Joel got royalties for every instance this song was played at a bar, he’d own every bar this song is played in. It’s a staple of every north eastern bar I’ve ever drank a beer in. You can’t find a bar in Massachusetts that won’t break out into song when they play this on the speakers. My first birthday in Los Angeles, I was in a bar and this came on and I went crazy and started singing it while everyone stared at me with an uncomfortable blank look on their face. When I asked them to sing with me, they all shrugged and said they didn’t know the words. After that, I never trusted anyone I met in L.A..

Born to Run by The Boss

If you live within a 100 mile radius of Newark, New Jersey, you have probably heard this song at least once a day for your entire life. It’s not even a song at this point, it’s almost become a drunken anthem. You’ll usually hear it sometime around 12 or 12:30 am and when I hear it, I usually turn to a buddy and say, “One hour till last call.” I think a scientific experiment should be conducted on the Born to Run: Shot Buying Ratio because I am under the impression that more shots are bought and consumed during or immediately after this song is played than any other song in the history of mankind. It usually makes at least one group in every bar go out of their minds and indirectly causes more people to projectile vomit in parking lots than any other song on this list.

Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond

BAH BAH BAH!!! Good times never seemed so good…This song holds a special place in my heart, as it’s my go to song when I’ve had just enough to drink to sing karaoke. It’s great because it’s one of those songs that will make everyone in a bar stand up and sing together. It’ll make you friends and it’ll get you laid. Much like Crazy Glue and Nelson Mandela–it’s a unifier. I mean, it’s the official anthem of Fenway Park. And if you can’t trust 50,000 drunk Bostonians, then who can you really trust?

Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi

Another Jersey classic. It’s been my experience that women will completely lose their crap when they’re plastered and hear this song come on. I’ve seen groups of young women, who for hours haven’t been able to stand properly without wavering like a flag during a Category-5 hurricane somehow stand together and lean on each other in a way that hold them upright for the four minutes it takes Jon Bon Jovi to belt out this ditty. It’s both insane and impressive…until one of the girls falls over after it finishes. Then it’s just hilarious.

Dixieland Delight by Alabama

I’m from the South, and this song was a played at least once at almost every frat party or sorority semi-formal I ever attended. It’s a tradition for colleges south of the Mason Dixon line. Having a perfect blend of singability and slow danceability (yeah, I just made those words up) , it’s a gateway song that usually makes a guy put his arm around the girl he loves (or in most cases wants to sleep with) and make his move. It’s kind of a deal breaker song. You usually know if you got it or you don’t when it’s over, but either way, it’s a song that caps of a night of drinking with good friends.

Don’t Stop Believing by Journey

It’s illegal in most states to not sing this at a karaoke bar. It’s in the state bylaws. I can honestly say that on my rowdiest nights–I’ve heard this song at least once during the night. I mean every single time. Bars have to play this song at least once a night by law. It’s another one of those songs that people go wild singing along to and I’m just as guilty as everyone else when it comes to this. Usually it’s the last song you hear before a bar closes because it turns normal people into drunken screaming lunatics and bars don’t care because they know you’ll be out the door in less than five minutes–whisked whimsically out into the darkness of the night–where you stop being their problem and magically become the problem of local law enforcement authorities.

You Shook Me (All Night Long) by AC/DC

This is an odd song because it can be played anywhere in the gamut of an evening out drinking. Sometime you hear it early in the night and sometimes it’s one of the last songs you hear. Chances are you’ll hear it at some point though. And almost everyone knows the first verse, so we can safely assume that all fast machines keep their motors clean. It’s science.

Hotel California by The Eagles

Whether you love or hate the Eagles, when you’re at a bar you can ALWAYS count on hearing this song. When it comes on some people smile, while others cringe. It’s a song people usually have a love/hate relationship with. For those of us who enjoy the soothing melodies of The Eagles it’s no big deal. But, the opening bars of this song seems to make others want to throw a brick through the nearest window and physically hurt people. So beware if you ever choose this song on the jukebox because you can never really discern who those people are until you’re 6 minutes into the song or it’s already too late…

Family Tradition by Hank Williams Jr.

Another honky tonk sing-a-long song that resonates every Friday night from every frat house and country bar from Texarkana to Tallahassee. As one of my friends used to say “This song gets me loudy and rowdy.” Even if you don’t like country music, more times than not you still probably enjoy this song. It sort of bridges the gap of party music and country music. And if you don’t like Hank Williams…

Sweet Child O Mine by Guns N Roses

Another one of those songs that is instantly recognizable by the first chords. Guns N Roses is another one of those bands that you’re sure to constantly hear in every bar anywhere you go in the country. It usually then starts a conversation on what a waste of talent Axel Rose was and depending on your alcohol intake for that evening, that usually leads to conversation about how much cooler your life would be if your name was “Axel.” Then someone makes the obligatory Chinese Democracy joke that makes everyone snicker and your realize that the only two people you know named Axel have either burned out or get shot at in movies for a living.

Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay by Otis Redding

Usually reserved for afternoon drinking; this tune is possibly the greatest song of all-time. When it comes on, people seem to relax and enjoy the moment. It seems to transcend race, musical taste and time. I don’t think I‘ve ever met anyone who didn‘t enjoy this song and most people have probably heard it hundreds if not thousands of times. It’s a musical anomaly that never seems to age or wear on people’s nerves, and that’s why you’ll always catch it playing at every conceivable type of bar. No other piece of music seems to ease the tension in a room like this one does.

Honorable Mentions
Africa by Toto
Land Down Under by Men at Work
Tiny Dancer by Elton John