Meet Matthias Schlitte, a German arm-wrestling champ. When you take a gander at him, you can see the looks of a champion. Or someone who spends a lot of time at home alone on a Saturday night.

That’s pretty crazy. And you know that people don’t see him and go, “Oh, he must be a big-time arm wrestler!” They probably see his outstretched arm going for a handshake and go, “Um, no thanks.” You’d pretty much have to wear shirts that say “World Arm-Wrestling Champion” non-stop otherwise people would be knocking on the door every time you’re in the bathroom for 5 minutes, wondering if your hands are so surprisingly soft due to your constant need for third party lubricants.

It’s like being Popeye, only without the need to constantly eat spinach for your powers. And the STDs. No way a sailor in the 50’s dating a woman who had a child out of wedlock was clean.

[Thanks Jack for the tip!]