Any time I read a story that says “mythical lesbian town,” I usually wake up with sheets that look like they were doused in baby formula. But apparently this is an actual story…the Chinese media thinks that Sweden has a town inhabited by women where men are barred and sapphic desires are inflamed.

A mythical Swedish town where men are barred from entering and women turn to homosexuality has piqued the interest of several Chinese media outlets.

The town, supposedly founded in 1820 in the northern Swedish woods by a wealthy widow, boasts 25,000 residents and a medieval castle, according to the Chinese news agency Xinhua.

A pair of blonde female sentries stand guard at the unnamed town, referred to in reports as “Chako Paul City”, and men wishing to enter risk being “beaten half to death” by police.

In addition, many of the town’s female residents turn to homosexuality “because they could not suppress their sexual needs”, the Chinese news service Harbin News reports.

But Claes Bertilson, a spokesperson for Sweden’s Association of Local Authorities and Regions (SALAR), is doubtful about the claims made by the Chinese media about Sweden’s supposed “women-only” town.

“I’ve never heard anything about it,” he told The Local.

“At 25,000 residents, the town would be one of the largest in northern Sweden, and I find it hard to believe that you could keep something like that a secret for more than 150 years.”

It’s an interesting story (though lacking in pictures), so I recommend checking it out.

For example:

Accuracy aside, the Chinese press reports provide a plethora of titillating details about life in the mythical Swedish town.

Most of the town’s all-female population is employed in the forestry industry, with many sporting a “thick waist belt full of woodworking equipment”, according to Xinhua.

Well of course a town full of lesbians is going to be big on wood-working. The two big industries in a town of lesbians would be, I presume, wood-working and pants suit sales. Haircutting would be a bigger industry if they didn’t just use an electric razor or a salad shooter to make the vintage lesbian pixie cut.

With all that in mind about how lovely it would be in theory for a town of women making love to each other, in practical application, it might not turn out so well. A town full of women who PMS during the same timeframe every month who have an ingrained sense of hatred for men and a series of saws and sharp objects to pare down trees? That’s an open invitation to end up with your genitals being sliced off while some chick in flannel yells “Kali Maaaaaaaaa.”

[The Local]