I like milk. I drink it daily in some form, be it in my cereal, a cup of coffee, or shot intravenously so as to harness the amazing power of cows. That said, this new video for milk is bizarre…watch until the end for it to get even weirder.

So apparently drinking milk will lead to a SWAT team invading my ice castle, abducting my sexy Milk Wench and leaving me lying there, possibly dead, on the icy floor. I always SENSED that was the case with milk but just assumed it was my occasional Lucky Charms dust snorting sessions leading to vivid hallucinations. Apparently I was just seeing the future. A dystopic, milky future.

Anyways if you want to get strong bones, have nice skin and hair, or swing a guitar around until you die in a swimming pool of dairy like a Wisconsin version of Scarface, get a big old glass of milk. Milk: Yeah, Okay, Like You’re Going to Put Water in Your Frosted Flakes? Dick.