Marisa Miller, Doutzen Kroes, and Miranda Kerr were in Chicago the other day to open a new Victoria’s Secret store. Good news for Chicago, but there were two troubling issues I found with this event. 1) Marisa Miller’s freak of a husband was there, and 2) no one alerted me to this occurence thus I was unable to properly stalk cover the girls and this event in the way I would have like to (i.e. put on a thong and walked around in front of the store with a sign professing my love for Doutzen. Eh, their loss I guess.)