You may think you know all you need to know about mobile homes, but you haven’t even scratched the surface until you’ve seen this obscenely bad ass ad for Cullman Liquidation Co.

It almost makes me want to buy a home with wheels. But there’s so much effort involved, what with having to lose my truck and my dog and my gal. And learning to hate all types of ethnic minorities. If it were 75% of those, sure, but all four? Too much effort. Plus how can you effectively run a meth lab when your house is rolling down a street? Your house rolling into an abutment must have set back redneck scientists at least 30 years.