Moving in together is a huge step for any couple. While the guy might worry his Xbox will be replaced with a stack of Oprah magazines, we’re stressing about losing all of our privacy. It’s not that we don’t want to spend every single waking moment together — it’s more like we don’t want you to realize that we have flaws, quirks, and normal body functions.
Here are the top 6 things we’re scared to do in front of you:
1. Eat messy foods
A good date centers around good food, great conversation, and fantastic foreplay under the table. We don’t want to ruin the mood by slurping up spaghetti, gnawing on a piece of sushi, or stabbing ourselves in the eye with a tricky kabob stick. Save us some trouble by picking a place with bite-sized sauce-free food like carrots or ice shavings.
2. Have Gas
It’s clinically proven that gas is the fastest killer of a romantic night. Couples instantly go from being wrapped around each other naked to sleeping on opposite ends of the bed wearing nightgowns over flannel pajamas. Please do us a huge favor by letting us blame any unexplainable noises and lingering smells on the dog — even if you don’t have a dog.
3. Facebook Stalk
Some women use Facebook to stay in touch with friends, as well as to see who gained the most weight since high school. Other women use it to legally stalk ex-boyfriends, one-time hook-ups, and crushes. We fully acknowledge that we’re absolutely batshit insane, yet we have trouble stopping ourselves from completing our daily ritual. Help us not embarrass ourselves by lying to us and saying you don’t have the internet because you don’t believe in using it — and for your own sake, never let us know you have Facebook.
4. Working Out
The gym is a great place for us to lose weight, stay in shape, and compare ourselves to fatter women. However, unless we’re only taking power yoga classes, it’s not a great place to run into someone we like. We’re worried that you’ll be completely focused on our sweaty head bands, red faces, and our manly gym attire. A great way to make us feel better if you run into us at the gym is to focus on the work-out. Instead of noticing our gym attire, try saying something nice like “wow you’ve lost more weight than the office could have ever imagined.”
5. Watch our TV shows
Sometimes we watch really stupid TV that we’re embarrassed to watch in front of anyone else — let alone someone that we really like. We’re talking reality television that makes the Kardashian family look like they deserve a show and movies that make chick flicks look like war documentaries. If you ever walk in on us changing the station quickly to ESPN, then please don’t ask what we were watching before and why we’re sobbing over SportsCenter.
6. Poop
Believe it or not (and many choose not to) some women have the ability to poop. And we use the exact same kind of bathroom you do! However many of us will run out of your house and go to the nearest gas station before we’ll use your toilet. Installing a porta-potty outside your house covered in sound proof material and filling it with at least 6 air fresheners is a great way to make us feel comfortable living together. We’ll be able to poop out of ear shot and you’ll be able to keep on pretending that women only have one hole.
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this list is stupid, inaccurate & blatantly written by ignorant bratboys.
this list is stupid, inaccurate & blatantly written by ignorant bratboys.
this list is stupid, inaccurate & blatantly written by ignorant bratboys.
this list is stupid, inaccurate & blatantly written by ignorant bratboys.
this list is stupid, inaccurate & blatantly written by ignorant bratboys.
this list is stupid, inaccurate & blatantly written by ignorant bratboys.
Really? Remind me not to date you, then, because I honestly don't enjoy the whole "women pooping in front of me" thing. Guess I'm crazy!
Really? Remind me not to date you, then, because I honestly don't enjoy the whole "women pooping in front of me" thing. Guess I'm crazy!
Really? Remind me not to date you, then, because I honestly don't enjoy the whole "women pooping in front of me" thing. Guess I'm crazy!
Once you're married, this list goes right out the window.
way to jack an image off of deviantArt without credit?
Yeah I'd hate it if my woman tried to mess with my Playstation or other video game consoles. I admit, guys do worry about that. However, she loves to play games even roms and emulators and the older super mario titles!! That's kinda cool. And guys are insecure about more or less the same things. Not the gym one though..
This list is ridiculous. Sure, I know some girls who would never dream of passing gas in front of their man. There are also lots of guys who would hate it if they did….I just wouldn't date those guys.I wouldn't live with somebody unless I was comfortable being 100 percent me, else there is no point. You should be comfortable in your own home.My boyfriend couldn't care less.
way to jack an image off of deviantArt without credit?
Genius…I LMAO when i read it with my girl aside.Genius!
Sorry Justice, that was an oversight. Fixed now.
I agree it's a stupid list for the most part. Some of the things like facebook stalk are true of anyone and were added just to round off the list. Who likes pooping in front of someone else?Seriously that's not even something that's stereotyped to guys. As for watching crappy tv shows theirs a little truth in it..
Why would I want to pretend women only have one hole? That would severely limit the other possibilities….
yeah dude fucking womens butts is sweet
heyy!! i do all these things in front of mah hunnii….yess…even take a dump in front of him….he dont mind
"We’ll be able to poop out of ear shot and you’ll be able to keep on pretending that women only have one hole."Then why do i want butt sex so often
Interesting. This seems quite realistic too.
I encourage all girls to stop "being afraid",or better said-ashamed to do anything in front of men.If guys can fart,watch TV,work out,eat greasy food in front of us,why compromising ourselves by not doing the same if we feel like doing it?!
I encourage all girls to stop "being afraid",or better said-ashamed to do anything in front of men.If guys can fart,watch TV,work out,eat greasy food in front of us,why compromising ourselves by not doing the same if we feel like doing it?!
I encourage all girls to stop "being afraid",or better said-ashamed to do anything in front of men.If guys can fart,watch TV,work out,eat greasy food in front of us,why compromising ourselves by not doing the same if we feel like doing it?!
I don't know why everyone is up in arms – I think this list is funny. And hey, if you find a girl who is comfortable doing all those things (with the exception of #6 of course) in front of you, then I'd say you got yourself a keeper.
boring and stupid like all of you
re: number #6some guys prefer the second hole
Was this really written by a woman? I've been living with my wife for three and a half years now, and non eof this seems realistic at all. Like someone else said, if you're going to move in with you man, or the other way around, you had better be comfortable.
Also, I would never never never never never never never never never never never never never never tell my wife or a female friend “wow you’ve lost more weight than the office could have ever imagined.”" that is one of the worst lines that could possible come out of a man's mouth besides "You're fat and ugly." Tip: avoid commenting on a womans weight at all costs. For the situation mentioned, actually I think my wife looks hot when she's working out-even in her Gi (Karate Uniform), and most womens work-out clothing is designed to look sexually attractive.
I'm not going to go on an item by item list on all the things wrong with this list, but I'd also like to say that I use facebook and other online communications networks more often than my wife does.
That's all for now. Keep trying!
-Fipher
I've done every one of these in front of my man. We also LOVE farting in front of each other, its always a competition! Any guy who can't handle seeing that is a little bitch
Some of these chicks need to grow a sense of humor!! I have one!
>
> #29
> re: number #6
> some guys prefer the second hole
>
Yeah! Especially if she'll fart while I'm doing it!
#6 is just rong for a grl to do that rly! or if you likke to fuck your husband or boy friend. well i gtg (gtg means got to go) and post my friends on facebook so cya! o i almost forgot it is …. 3:19 o'clock A.M.
This stuff is bull! I think #6 is just a bunch of crap!
0 and for the grls who r reeding this u r idots u dont know why u r reeding this really! and for the boys who dont have a grl friend or a wife get grl friend that does none of these things o and wife that does none of these things k?
HEY!bull shift your posts r just shit!!!!!! o and YOU SUK!!!!!!
hey all its me i just got dumped today.
very sad 
he was cute too! right now im out at a bar in vagis ( i dont care about the spellings ) my bf (bf stands for boy friend) is in Germany. he broke up with me today just a few mins ago its 11:56 P.M. i am so sad my DSI is running low on battery so i dont have much time left so i am gonna text my bf how such a jerk he is. o and my real name is Carly Spozzaraak( my last name is pronansed like this: SPOZ ARK AHH K) . well i gtg so sry if this is short but thx (thx is short for thanks) for reeding this. bye!
here is all the faces i know hope you enjoy them!!!
o and here is a heart<3
o sry i thought it was a heart sry guys o i am trying faces k?
:O :b >:( >:)
hey dose anyone know how to do a mad face? it will really help me!:):D:):D:):D
here is some new faces!
O: o and i think this is one too O.o
I think its really hot when women fart, especially if they poop at the same time. Even hotter is when they fart so hard they poop a little on accident.
I would not do any exercise in front of my man.
This list could also be named 6 things girls may or may not want to do in front of her man as some girls like to work out together with her man or even eat a doner kebab or mcdonalds once in a while. My GF always adds spicy, fatty sauces to her food and miracoulously she manages not to gain weight at all xD But she refuses to take a s* and since we have a small home I have to listen to music on earphones when she does it xDDD