Like many Americans, I have a healthy fear of robots. So every time one of these robots seems to gain more autonomy, part of me goes, “Oh, cool” while another part goes, “They’re getting closer.” So when you see Mango the robot, you’ll know…first it’s breakdancing, then enslaving humans. It’s all coming along as it was prophecied (/as I hallucinated on an acid trip).

Yeah, the robot looks cool while he’s doing splits and popping and locking. But what about when he realizes that his powerful kicks could be better served to rob you and steal your job? You think I’m joking now, but it always begins with adorable robot tricks. Just like when my parents got me R.O.B. the Robot for Nintendo. Sure at first he was cute while shifting side to side. It was much less cute when he slept with my mother and beat me in the yard with a switch. They didn’t really tout those features on the instruction manual.