Alec Banks
Alec Banks is a Los Angeles based writer whose work has appeared on The Huffington Post, Deadspin, Salon, Playboy.com and many other places. He's been coming here for most of his adult life, and there she is oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling...smiling. He can't take this no more!
Articles by Alec Banks
Humor
7 ways to know you watch too much porn
There used to be a time when you had to acquire porn like it was conflict diamonds. You’d give a friend of a friend your locker combination, and after sixth period, you’d open it up and find a magazine called Jug Pumpers folded and creased inside. But with the advent of the Internet, suddenly the manual orgasm was a finger click, and a balled fist away.
Lifestyle
9 fashion items from the 90s due for a comeback
Like fedoras from the 50’s, and heroin shooting black jeans from the late 80’s, everything makes a comeback. Here are nine pieces of clothing from the 1990’s that are bound to pop back up like everyone’s favorite love blister.
Humor
7 things that would happen if masturbation were illegal
Men masturbate just as surely as the sun rises and sets, both celestial creatures of habit in a world where not a lot makes sense. For the sun, its purpose is to provide warmth. For men, our purpose is to procure that warm feeling that comes along with pulling on oneself until all of our worries melt away like icicles in the spring.
Humor
8 signs you’re ‘that guy’ at the gym
Everyone knows "that guy" at the gym. He’s greasier than a sunbathing piglet. He’s got on more accessories than a bondage slave. And he’s oblivious to the stairs and points that come from every inch of that sprawling exercise wasteland. But what happens if you’re "that guy" and you just don’t know it?
Humor
7 ways your cell phone is making you look like an idiot
We’re undoubtedly living in as connected a world as ever, but at what cost? The prevalent use of mobile technology has turned average people into obnoxious and raving lunatics
Lifestyle
7 reasons why women should never get plastic surgery
Every single person in this world is insecure about something on their bodies, whether that is their hammerhead shark-shaped toes, to the bulbous noses that appear like woodshop-crafted door stops, and parked squarely in the middle of their faces. In a time and place where we can’t agree on anything, imperfections surely are what make us distinctly human, and should make us united on at least one front
Humor
8 things every man should be thankful for this Thanksgiving
With the day of thanks just around the corner, now is as good a time as any for men to start expressing their gratitude for certain things in their life. The common phrase is that “life isn’t fair.” While true, it’s the simple pleasures and rare gifts, both of the physical and spiritual nature that can sweeten up an otherwise bitter existence.
Lifestyle
9 signs you may officially be broke
The 99 percent, as a group, has to agree on one thing: we’re all pretty worried about the money that’s going out quicker than it’s coming in. While there are varying degrees of being broke, here are nine signs that you might already be there.
Humor
8 things you don’t want to hear from a woman’s mouth
There are things as men that are music to our ears when they come out of a woman’s mouth. These include things like, “do you want me to cut the crust off your sandwich?” Uh, you know it. “Do you think it’s a good idea that I spend my nights getting my black belt in the fellatio arts?” Of course! Those are inquiries that keep the line of communication free and clear.
Lifestyle
7 of the worst things men put up with for sex
The common euphemism used when describing the male motivation is that, “men often think with the wrong head.” This is true. The fact that we use the one between our shoulders for even one percent of our daily activities is both shocking and ineffective. But it’s a necessary evil, as the big head is the one that does all of the horizontal mambo planning.
Advice
8 things your tattoo (and where it is) says about you
While selecting where you’re going to put a tattoo is the easy part. It’s selecting what you’re going to make a permanent addition to ones body that takes a little time. But choose both wisely because where you put it and what you get speaks volumes about your personality. Here are eight tattoos, their locations, and what they say about your personality.