Jordan Hoffman
Jordan Hoffman contributes to about ten of your favorite websites. In addition to co-producing two independent films, he was the Movies editor at Hearst Digital's UGO.com for five years and is a member of the New York Film Critics Online.
Articles by Jordan Hoffman
TV
‘Game of Thrones’ season finale recap
Theon Greyjoy, the Manuel Noriega of Winterfell.
Please, hand me a kleenex. I’ve got something. . .in my eye. . .
TV
‘Game of Thrones’ season 2, episode 9 recap
Bronn says Flame On!
I say Penultimate, you say Episode! Penultimate! Episode! Penultimate! Episode!
If you are hep enough to come to Guyism.com you know that the crap always hits the fan during the second-to-last episode of the season.
TV
‘Game of Thrones’ season 2, episode 8 recap
An imp and a eunuch walk into a castle.
Last week’s episode ended with the image of two crispy Starks on the end of a rope. Were they really the boy Lords of the North, or was Theon Greyjoy just using two peasant corpses to freak everyone out? (We think
TV
‘Game of Thrones’ season 2, episode 7 recap
The look on the Khaleesi’s face accurately represents your humble recapper’s when he learned there’s to be no screener for this week’s episode.
Episode 6 was a game-changer for Game of Thrones.
TV
‘Game of Thrones’ Season 2, Episode 6 recap
“Gods help you, Theon Greyjoy. Now you are truly lost.” – Rodrik Cassel, about to prove that there is no expiration date on vengeance in Westeros. By getting his head chopped off.
TV
‘Game of Thrones’ Season 2, Episode 5 recap
It was only one week ago on Game of Thrones that everyone in the Realm let out a collective WTF.
TV
‘Game of Thrones’ Season 2, Episode 4 recap
“If war were arithmetic, the mathematicians would rule the world.” – Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish, clearly a fan of Broadway, reminding us that you gotta have a gimmick!
TV
‘Game of Thrones’ Season 2, Episode 3 recap
“Power resides where men believe it resides.” – Varys, the Eunuch, to Tyrion Lannister, essentially reminding him to fake it til ya make it.
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‘Game of Thrones’ Season 2, Episode 2 recap
“I sharpened this blade before breakfast. I can shave a spider’s arse if I wanted to.” – Yoren of the Night’s Watch to some Lannister stooge who thinks he can scare him.
TV
‘Game of Thrones’ Season 2, Episode 1 recap
“POWER is power!” – Queen Ceresi Lannister, evoking both the spirit of David Mamet and 10th grade geometry’s Reflexive Property of Congruence.