Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d start taking some time on the weekends to share some classics that many of our newer readers may have missed.

We live in a country where career satisfaction is diminishing year after year and according to the statistics, adults somewhere between the ages of 18 to mid-thirties change careers an average of ten times. With that being said, most of us out there have daydreamed one time or another about having a different, and killer job … and if you deny this fact, you’re indeed a liar. Here’s a list of ten jobs you wish you had.

10 Trapeze artist
If you’re a young dude that has dreamed about flying since you were a wee little lad, this job’s for you. I’d say you’d have to be in your mid-twenties and have a passion for this sort of thing; becoming flexible and being able to fly through the air with the greatest of ease won’t come to you overnight, but having that dare devil mindset sure will help you take the plunge … hopefully the safety net is already in place.

9 Brew master
Love beer? Apply to be the master of the brew. The kind of man that’s cut out for this job is the guy who likes to wait for things to happen. If you have a creative side, that will help you as well. Imagine telling your friends that you not only created a new flavor of beer but you get to drink on the job.

8 Concert promoter
This job is cool because you get to be the spokesperson for your favorite band and you definitely will take on much less responsibility than a publicist. What’s cooler than standing around all day in a musty, broken-in pair of jeans, sneakers and a band tee? Who knows … you’ll probably party with the band after their tour to boot.

7 Rocker
Why be a concert promoter or roadie when you can actually live the full experience. Call up some frat brothers of yours from college, jam a bit and see where it takes you. Follow through on the dream of crashing hotel rooms, not being tied-down to any particular lady and live up to the saying “sex, drugs, and rock n’roll.”

6 Mad scientist
Did you have a science kit growing-up? Here’s your chance to make playtime a reality. You can’t actually take over the world or create an antidote for those who may turn into zombies when the world ends, but you can dream. Start out small … break out an old erector set or get scrap metal parts and build really awesome robots. If all else fails, at least you know you tried … and one last thing, keep Dr. Frankenstein in mind.

5 Photographer
Every Tom, Dick, and Harry has a digital camera or some kind of iPhonamatronic in their pocket at all times. And every one of those said people can point and click at a building facade in an artsy way and publish it to their Facebook wall. This kind of job takes the utmost creativity and a lot of patience. If you think you have the chops to go out there in this economy and blow Warhol out of his grave, go for it.

4 Chocolatier
You don’t have to be a chick to love chocolate and this kind of job can be really satisfying … to your taste buds, that is. Much like that of a brew master, you get to taste your improvements as you climb the ladder of chocolaty success.

3 Freelance writer
In this kind of business, you need to have connections and really be outgoing. It’s said that if successful enough, one can live off a freelancer’s salary quite comfortably. Make those contacts and pitch those ideas!

2 Lion trainer
Manly men only needed to sought out this kind of position. Do you like laughing in the face of death? Would you not mind sticking your head in the mouth of a foul beast? This job is off-beat and sounds like a blast … it may even get you laid with the right kind of animal-loving Jane of the jungle chick. Go get ‘em Tarzan.

1 Bar owner
Let the booze flow freely and the tips be spent generously. Being a barkeep can rock for the right kind of dude. This kind of person needs to be extremely outgoing, and needs to keep a balance of knowing how to have fun but also how to stay safe. Try telling a woman you own a bar and … well, I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.

The above jobs give you a good idea of what kind of careers are out there; just remember that it’s never too late to get on a different saddle and ride off into a crazy-ass job.

Have any other ideas of cool jobs you want to take on or know someone who works in that field? Leave a comment below and share them!

It was a mother of a winter, don’t you agree? January wasn’t too hard to handle, but we were totally raped by February. With that being said, it’s time to think about the months ahead … the months where a warm breeze flows, April showers bring May flowers, and cargo shorts can be brought out of the dusty drawers.

Here are 5 ways to look smokin’ this spring without looking like a complete douche bag:

1 “Nerd” glasses

Nerd glasses are still in style; just be careful as to where you sport these, four eyes! For instance, if you are invited to your lady’s business dinner or a close friend’s wedding, the way of the nerd is NOT the way to go. You can be “that” guy and match your specs with every outfit in your closet, or head to Hot Topic and pick and choose what frames work best for your face. If you choose the latter, pick out hmm let’s say your top 3.

2 Dress like an older man

The old man look is also back with a vengeance … do not, I repeat do NOT wear your loafers with socks. You aren’t a frat boy anymore, am I right? The way to not look like a total “d” is if you match your leather of choice to your slacks. You can even dress your loafers down by wearing a clean-pressed polo shirt tucked into a light colored pair of golf shorts, and top it off by wearing a light suit jacket.

3 Embrace your inner peacock and go with the brighter colors

A real man isn’t afraid to play around with color. When one thinks of spring, the colors pink, purple, and yellow come to mind; if you are feeling a little ballsy, purchase a shirt or chino pant in a solid spring color. If you want to be a little less noticeable, pick up a bowtie or pair of suspenders.

4 Dress appropriately for your age

If you want to be taken seriously, you have to dress your age. This spring, make sure you don’t buy any of those embroidered chino pants that have the anchor or whale pattern all over them. It may have been all cutesy when you were five, but now you’re a young adult or well-to-do man … stick to the plain hemmed khaki of choice.

5 Keep the jewelry-ish accessories simple

Lately, the trend seems to be wearing layers of man necklaces; you know what I’m talking about – those long-chained rustic key looking things mixed with a screw and cross. If you don’t want to look like a “d” in this matter, pick out one piece of bling per outfit … trust us, it’s more than enough.

Follow these simple “rules” of spring and you should be set to go, brother. Of course, every suggestion is open to experimentation…

Winning the lottery sounds like a dream come true; with things the way they are this day and age in the aftermath of “the great recession,” having a few extra thousand or million dollars in your proverbial piggy bank would be a nice change of pace.

However, you must face the fact that that chances of actually winning a large lump sum of cold, hard cash is about as good as one in a billion … you must also take into consideration all those poor souls that piss through their yearly earnings, or their grandma’s allotment of will money on those little green and pink tickets that could potentially make them millionaires. And then there’s little old you.

I’m not trying to deter you from achieving your big break; I’m just stating the facts. However, if you do get your 15 minutes of fame, here’s a list of 10 things you could potentially do with your big earnings … you know, after big brother takes his cut of your loot.

1 Pay off those nasty bills

Yes, I know you have lingering student loans that aren’t paid for in full or that % APR that’s rising on your car payments each month. Whatever kind of junky bill you have in your “in-box” by the front door, you have to get rid of it! Send checks out a little higher than your monthly balance; this way, your next month’s bill will be lower and your credit score will increasingly get better with time … imagine that!

2 Open a savings account

If you don’t have one already, now would be a good time to open one up. You may also want to shop around for the bank that offers the best money back interest rate in your area; this means more money for you in the long-run. You don’t want to be “that person” who wins the lotto and then pisses away their winnings within a few months. You’re an adult … act like it.

3 Municipal bonds

Two words, one hyphen … tax-free. It is said that these kinds of bonds are a safe way to be awarded interest off of your original lump sum that was first invested. See a trend here? Invest, invest, invest!

4 Give back

Even if you live under a rock, you have to have heard about the travesty that has hit the people in Haiti. Mother Nature has her reasons for doing what she does, and it’s quite devastating at times. With that being said, take this opportunity while you’re ahead of the game to donate some of your lottery winnings to those who really need their day brightened. Whether it’s $100.00 or $1,000.00, your generosity counts. You may want to try CARE.org or RedCross.org.

5 Fixer-uppers

You may have put the needs of your kingdom (i.e. your home) on the back-burner because of a frustrating income, but now that you came into some cash, get that grout and those paint brushes ready! Survey the rooms of your apartment or house and make a check-list of what areas need the most work. Hell, make a weekend out of it … get some buddies of yours over for some cold beers and get your asses to work. Be sure to help them out when they need some fixing-up to do, too.

6 Give back … again

Once you have given back to the people of Haiti, give back to another charitable cause. How about to the people of New Orleans; a good majority of those jazz-lovin’ folk still don’t have a proper roof over their heads … and it’s been HOW many years later since Katrina hit? Or get involved with a local charity. Or if you’re really ambitious, start one of your own in your neighborhood. Do this with the kindness of your heart, not for achieve some kind of celebrity.

7 Put it away

You have some disposable income now, so make it last. If you have children, put a nice hunk of cash away into a college fund for them. They will appreciate this when the time comes to pay off student loans. If you are single or newly married, put some money into your retirement or emergency fund. You’ll be happy you did this!

8 Recycle

If you are a small business owner, putting money into your business can only help you out in the long-run; you know the age-old saying, “you have to spend money to make money.” Take a portion of your earnings and put it back into your business. The luck of the draw bowed in your favor, so don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. At the very least, give your employees a little bonus … a happy employee is a hard-working employee.

9 Family

Be the good child in your family and help a relative out. If you have an elderly parent or a family member that is struggling a bit, generously give some of your proceeds to them. Whether it be a small loan for household appliances or just cutting a check for the hell of it, you’ll be doing a good thing in the long-run.

10 Paradise

I’ve given you nine tips on how to responsibly take care of your lottery winnings, now it’s time for a little splurge. Have you been thinking about traveling to Europe but never took the plunge because of financial restrictions? Now’s your chance! Book your trip smartly and still stay a bit frugal because you want the money to last more than a New York minute.

If you’ve won the lottery, congratulations! Please just be as smart as you can with whatever amount of money you come into. Most importantly, just enjoy it…and feel free to send a charitable donation our way.

Some more fun stuff we think you’ll enjoy…

• The 25 Hottest Western Europeans at the 2010 Winter Olympics
• New Video: Rihanna – Rude Boy
• Beyonce and Alicia Keys in sexy Brazilian outfits
• Miranda Kerr Tearing Up The Catwalk
• The Craziest Stuff on the Web Right Here
• Man Arrested for Tattooing 1-Year-Old
• The Seven Best Tecmo Bowl Fan Videos on YouTube
• 3 Reasons Hooters Might Be for Sale
• 5 Reasons Valentine’s Day Must Be Eliminated

‘Tis the season to be jolly … and strange. Around this time of year, freak flags are flying at their highest, and advertisers are the biggest suppliers of said flags. When someone says “Christmas,” Santa Claus comes to mind, or even Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. What should not come to mind is Santa Claus passed-out under a tree from drinking too much eggnog at the elf holiday party, or anything to that effect.

But what is it about odd advertising that catches our eye? Christie, a senior business and marketing major at Penn State University says, “Well, sometimes odd things make you wonder about what the ad is for … especially if it’s not really apparent right away.

“There is a thing called moderate incongruity; it is when something in an ad makes you think, but eventually you’re able to resolve it and figure it out or what it means,” the Penn Stater continues.

Christie adds, “I guess seeing Santa passed-out is unusual, and could be an example of moderate incongruity.”

With that being said, I am going give you the strangest Christmas present you’ve ever received … in the form of a neat little list comprised of strange holiday advertisements.

McDonald’s Christmas Tree

There’s something majorly wrong with America … the land of the free and the home of the fat. Good luck with that after-Christmas triple bypass!

Santa Loves Pyrex

Just what your wife or girlfriend needs … more pots and pans to cook you delicious meals in … and resent you every step of the way.

Santa Loves to Talk

I’ve never heard of a Santa hotline, have you? Dial the correct number, or you could be on Santa’s “naughty” list. If that’s the case, be careful when he offers to empty his sack.

Absolut AA

Although a fun ad to look at, there’s nothing fun about attending AA meetings right before the New Year. Save your “getting your life on track” for after the biggest drinking holiday of the year, quitter.

Dance of the Sugarplum Binocular

Binoculars…the exact type of gift you’d expect from someone who’d call their dad “Father.”

Silent Lung, Deadly Lung

Maybe after you drink your way to those AA meetings, you can take up chain smoking and have a holly, jolly holiday with a black lung just like Santa from a lifetime of hopping down chimneys.

And last but not least…

3 Lords A-Shooting

Clearly the best gift to give your boisterous boys for Christmas are rifles. Right Mama and Papa Menendez?

Happy Holidays, everyone! (Even you advertisers who belong in a straight jacket…)

In the 1950s, there were promises of flying cars, cleaning robots and self-serving oven appliances … kind of like in The Jetsons. Those times may be over but golly gee, in this day and age we’re just steps away from the future’s doorstep! Here, we’ve compiled a list of innovations that’ll not only knock your socks off, but could send George Jetson to the outer limits of the Milky Way.

Let’s start off with all things music. Don’t you just hate when you’re geared up for a killer cardio workout, have your iPod cued up, but there’s one thing that’s slightly off? Your damn ear buds keep popping out of your ears and you spend ¾ of your run trying to make the headphones stay put? Worry no more! The iXoundWear cap has a place for your pod and ear buds; they’re tucked conveniently in a baseball hat. Guess what? You can even match the color of your nano to the color of your cap … how invigorating!

If you’re a winter runner and like the feel of a cold breeze on your body, you may want to go for the Nike Hatphones. It’s pretty much the same concept as the above mentioned, but it’s made with a microfleece material. It’ll keep you toasty whilst jogging the holiday pounds away or shoveling that wonderful driveway of yours.

Now for the foodies! Do you like breakfast in bed? Nothing says laziness like staying in bed with your girl and chewing the fat … literally. The Bacon Alarm Clock has the ability to wake you up with the smell and sizzle of real bacon. Now that’s good service!

After you have your bacon, try some toast … no, really. This convenient time-set toaster may not be a part of your bedroom ambiance but it’s transparent and browns your carb of choice to personal perfection. That sure beats having underdone or blackened toast.

Not that you need to wash dishes with a pork of an alarm clock or a toaster that’s as clear and as friendly as Casper, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a handy dandy dishwasher at your side. This miniature worktop genie, designed by Ibsen Caldas, is the perfect gadget for the green-loving couple or the college roommates that just bought and apartment together in the big city. Technology has advanced so much that we now have innovations such as this one reusing water for two different purposes!

Finally, let’s focus on futuristic odds and ends … ranging from pocket organizers to surprising cell phones.

Sony has created a whole new face for pocket organizers; the Pocket Organizer fits into already-made pockets of any size, has a hard drive, and an ultraBlueTooth that is said to relay info to the “heads-up monitor” in a pair of glasses. Talk about geek sheik! At the risk of getting freakish looks from your peers at the office or from people you may pass on the street for having your hand in your pocket and a grin on your face, you’ll certainly be grinning in futuristic style.

How about purchasing a pen that not only looks quite handsome, but also feeds bodily information to you within 10 minutes or so? I kid you not; the Liquid Microarray Fountain Pen has a built in DNA analyzer! Fellas, this is NOT your father’s pen (especially if your father is OJ Simpson).

The masterminds at Apple have done it again! Leave those manila folders that you have used to file paperwork in the dust because what I’m offering up next will blow your mind. May I present to you, the Macbook File Folder. This little guy looks just like a real manila filing folder, and comes in an array of colors to match your personality. Another added bonus is that it can also be stored with no problem.

Are you sick and tired of attempting to remember to charge your cell phone … you know, that minute electronic device that is your LIFE! And what happens when you’re caught off guard on the side of the road having to call for automobile assistance with a low battery? Ulysse Nardin, aka Father Time in my book, created a cell phone that uses kinetic energy to charge the cell’s battery … while it’s powered on!

And last but not least, you may need to purchase a fortune telling watch. “Is that possible,” you ask? Yes! Swiss watchmakers Borgeaud have apparently teamed up with mystic and magical people to create such a product. Bad omens be gone, you can count on that.

There are countless other futuristic innovations out there in today’s ever-changing society, but we have brought you the coolest, most manly and killer products around. Go download The Jetsons theme song off iTunes and start your shopping!

Preventative Health … what exactly is it and why should you take an active interest? We’ll explain why through a series of short answers on the topic at hand, and even give you some edible suggestions as to how to implement this thought into your daily lifestyle.

Kathleen Burke PhD, RN of the Ramapo College of New Jersey states that, “Preventative Health deals with actions that when taken usually prevent disease; while it is not guaranteed, most preventative actions result in the early detection of concerns of the prevention of same.”

Louis, a middle-aged man, explains what Preventative Health means to him: “Preventative Health is eating a balanced diet, taking a daily vitamin and food supplement (such as a fish oil Omega 3 product), and getting a good amount of exercise that allows the heart rate to increase both for maintaining weight and brain function.”

Louis continues to discuss drawbacks of not taking Preventative Health into consideration. He states, “Some things to consider before it’s too late are heart disease, diabetes, and yes, even erectile dysfunction; the earlier you start to take these potentially life-threatening drawbacks into consideration, the better off you are. Many baby boomer parents took into consideration the idea of pre-natal care, and provided wonderful nutrient-rich diets for their children … this is something that should be continued as the child grows-up and even more so, the child should continue these regimens when he enters adulthood.”

Let us now get some opinions from those who are part of generation-Y…

Mike, a law student and well-spoken pseudo-hipster, comments on the following question: Why do you think younger men should consider turning to food for Preventative Healthcare?

He replies: “That’s a no-brainer. As a matter of basic nutritional science, food contains the nutrition we need to keep our bodies and immune systems strong. It’s especially important as a young man to eat healthy because poor choices now can have amplified consequences later and because healthy habits are easiest to develop and retain while young – ‘I’ll do X in a few years’ too often really means, ‘I don’t really care enough about X to do it.’

“Besides, if you’re a young man who knows a lot about food and cooking, you’ll not only eat better and more cheaply, sleep better, and have more energy, but people will want to be your friend so they can eat well too,” Mike light-heartedly completes his thought.

Sean, a recent graduate of The Culinary Institute of America and nutritionist-in-training started off by discussing why, as a society, we’re obsessed with the latest trends and body image. He bluntly states, “Since our population is obsessed with image, many feel the need to keep up with the times. Because of this we turn to popular remedies and the most popular of the time is food. By changing the way we eat or adding healthier food to our diet, we can greatly change the quality and longevity of our lives. When considering turning to food for preventative health, you first need to understand what food can do for your body.

“By regulating the amount of protein, carbohydrates, fat, minerals and vitamins you ingest, you can help to improve your diet. These compounds enter our bodies through the meats, fruits and vegetables, oils, and whole grains that we eat. It’s clear that men eat quite enough carbohydrates; the problem is the type and quality of carbs that are being eaten. The type of carbs that should be eaten is whole grain. Whole grains are filled with minerals, vitamins, and tons of fiber, which of course is very necessary in a man’s everyday diet,” he concludes.

So what does this mean for you? Sean suggests remembering the ABCs of antioxidants to prolong your life:
1. Anthocyanins- these contain red, blue, or purple pigments which are found in most fruits and berries
2. Beta Carotene- this is found in orange fruits and veggies
3. Catechin- this is found in tea, wine, and even chocolate
and to skip forward bit…
4. Lycopene- this is found within tomatoes and has tremendous health benefits
Basically, the word on the street is to start taking Preventative Health measures now fellas, while your face is youthful and your heart pumps perfectly. You may want to implement the consumption of different kinds of berries into your diet, Sean says, as the purples, reds, and blues in them help with brain health as you age and are proven to offer various health benefits.

Or put your taste buds to the test by trying the Goji berry; it is a new super food phenomenon these days according to Sean, and is said to fight off cancer, heart disease, and even protects the body from Alzheimer’s.

Hmm, imagine that. Try mixing some blueberries into your daily yogurt or pack a bunch of raspberries in your man bag before your big hike in Upstate, New York … you’ll be happy you went the healthy route. Moreover, wouldn’t you rather go healthy now, before it’s too late? The mentality of living fast and leaving behind a pretty corpse is so passé.

Have a city soiree coming up? How about that big anniversary? With events and commitments, along comes breaking out that wallet of yours to buy some new slacks and tie, right? Fear not, because we are going to offer tips on how to turn your current wardrobe into an entirely new one, and where to “splurge” on sale items right at your local mall or shopping center.

Let’s start with looking your absolute best, shall we? If you have an old tuxedo lying around, collecting dust since the day you put it in your attic after your wedding, now’s the time to break that puppy out. Having this priceless gem in your possession saves you BIG money and it’s actually quite versatile. If the tux doesn’t fit perfectly, it’s also quite inexpensive to get it tailored … just check out some results on Yahoo! answers.

Let’s start with the tux jacket; if you pair this part up with a vintage screen printed t-shirt (i.e. from Old Navy or even from Urban Outfitters), a boot cut or straight legged jeans, chucks, and a nice belt, you are ready for a night out on the town. Whether it be for palling around with your old college buddies or taking your lady to a fancy lounge downtown, you’re going to look smokin’.

Now it is time for the pants. The pants of a tuxedo are a little funky, only because they have that stripe down the sides; don’t worry about this! In this day and age, especially if you live in an urban setting, funky is in … just let a little piece of your freak flag fly, brother. This part can be paired up with a solid colored button down shirt, and a simple tie. Add some black dress shoes or even a black chuck, a black belt, and you’re ready for a business meeting or your sister’s wedding. Hot.

Last but not least, if your tuxedo comes with a vest, that’s the most convenient piece of all! A vest can be worn with a polo shirt and jeans, a button down and jeans, or even a screen printed t-shirt and jeans. Flop on some designer-esque trainers (as the British call them), add a vintage pocket watch, and you can do no wrong. You’re the epitome of cool.

Now let’s discuss where to find some sales and save you some cash. Not to mention, you’ll be on your wife’s good side by not blowing through that paycheck of yours. If you are looking for seasonal sales, stores like the Gap and Old Navy are the perfect places to start your search.

Once you have browsed around for seasonal items, you can then move on to off-price department stores such as Loehmann’s, Kohls, Target, and Century 21. One other place you may not have bothered to look at in the past (especially for those screen printed t-shirts) for one reason or another is Five Below; this hidden gem offers everything from the ever-popular skull design to quirky sayings like “True Gamer.” Honestly, can you not not afford to pick up several tees at $5.00 a pop?

And last but not least, you mustn’t forget to hit up such websites as retailmenot.com, deallocker.com, and freemania.net for printable coupons and savings you didn’t think were imaginable. You’re the master of your recessionator self.

If you follow these tips, you’ll be okay … trust us. Don’t be afraid to be a semi-cheapskate, because the moral of the story is, is that times are still tough. They’re tough but you’ll pull through looking your very best the entire time and nobody will know the difference.