Luke McKinney
Articles by Luke McKinney
Humor
The 7 worst legal defenses ever attempted
America's legal system makes America's Top Model look like a home of higher learning. Lawyers are beating the hell out of the old alchemists: never mind lead, they've found a way to turn stupidity into gold by suing the world and everything in it for failing to bubble-wrap anything more lethal than a marshmallow.
Humor
The 5 dumbest criminals who were foiled by Facebook
Do you ever wish you didn't waste so much time on Facebook? Then congratulations, idiot, you lost a battle of wills with a page of text. Your only hope is that other people are even more tragic, and they are! At least when you waste years of your life without moving around it's voluntary - these idiots Facebooked their way right into prison.
Humor
The 7 stupidest self-defense systems
Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d start taking some time on the weekends to share some classics that many of our newer
Lifestyle
The 7 most completely insane online workouts
If you hear “fitness” and think “watching online streaming video”, it’s because you’ve passed the critical weight beyond which all words sound like “nacho time.” Getting fit with YouTube is like building a Space Shuttle with butter, but lacks the same amount of genuine effort. And
Advice
The 5 saddest Pick-Up Artist acronyms
Pick Up Artists are what happen when nerds decide to get laid but forget to stop playing videogames first. They claim women can be reprogrammed into sex with complicated gambits which flip a set “attraction switches,” at which point they might as well say “I roll my twenty-sided dice
Entertainment
Reality Insanity: 5 celebrities who shouldn’t have done Reality TV
Reality TV is what happens when networks decide the brainpower behind "The Young And The Restless" is too expensive. Executives realized that they could just feed the idiot public their own stupid bodies, in what's basically "Soylent Green With Cameras". Which makes it especially tragic when "celebrities" indulge: either because you don't want to see them doing that, or because of what now counts as a "celebrity."
Humor
Disastvertising: The absolute worst ads online
The struggle between banner ads and browsers has turned into a full-blown war, and like any war it's created it's unleashed horrors, destroyed the scenery, and everyone wishes it would just stop. A barrage of blinking gifs have made us so good at ignoring idiotic annoyances Tila Tequila released a book and no-one slapped her. If this keeps up the human race will ignore itself to death, wiped out by some horror-plague which grows stinging boils on our genitals, and our final thoughts will be "not as annoying as the 'hit the monkey' ads."