Shawn Norris
Shawn Norris used to write things for National Lampoon and the now-defunct Blue Monkey Disco Party as "Douche Larue." Now he spends most of his time writing jokes, scripts, and trying to find a literary agent that will return his calls. Even though he wasn’t born yet, he often takes credit for faking the moon landing. Also, he’s allergic to tequila -- it makes him breakout in felonies.
Articles by Shawn Norris
Lifestyle
8 reasons you wouldn’t really want to date a porn star
There is a very substantial list of reasons why dating a porn actress would possibly be one of the most awesome things to happen in your life. For starters, you can get that "My other ride is a porn star" bumper sticker you always wanted to slap on your Jetta! Yet I still feel like doing so would be a burden on your sanity.
Lifestyle
The 9 best and funniest “made for TV” holiday songs
Holiday TV specials are a December staple. It’s the entire reason they made stop-motion claymation. Some specials simply play some old songs and throw a few reindeer, some elves and by the time Santa shows up, they call it a day. But some shows take Christmas a little further by writing and adding their own Christmas carols to already crowded repertoire of silver bells and sleigh rides.
Humor
7 modern day activities that could serve as medieval torture
With cars and airplanes and iPhones, it seems that the world we live in just keeps getting better and brighter (with the exception of a fledgling world economy, countries with less of a GNP than Apple, adult onset diabetes, cancer, US Magazine, Swine Flu, etc). But that’s not always the case when you really think about it.
Humor
The 10 most dangerous toys of your childhood
I’m surprised I survived the 1980’s. I was small and fragile and looking back at the toys…I can't believe that at some point someone didn’t need my dental records and an eyewitness account to identify me. I was young and naïve and bleeding a good portion of the time. Yeah, mostly bleeding.
Humor
The 10 biggest Halloween candy fails each year
Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d start taking some time on the weekends to share some classics that many of our newer
Lifestyle
The 8 stages of beer drinking
Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d start taking some time on the weekends to share some classics that many of our newer
Humor
VIDEO: Taiwanese sum up premise of ‘The Social Network’ in only one minute
We’ve seen some rather amusing clips from Taiwanese news outlet NMA News over the past few months. This time they tackle the controversy surrounding the new film “The Social Network.” I smell fins. Seems NMA may have jumped the shark with this clip.
Lifestyle
REM song voted most likely to make men cry
According to British royalty collection society PRS for Music, the Michael Stipe penned “Everybody Hurts” is the song most likely to make adult males turn into 8-year-old girls that just broke their Easy-Bake Oven.
Celebs
VIDEO: Fallon and Timberlake perform ‘The History of Rap’
I was skeptical when I read the premise for this video, even though Fallon is known for some spot-on musical impressions and Justin Timberlake is, well, Justin Timberlake. But these two pretty much killed this sketch.
Celebs
VIDEO: Steve-o sets his head on fire to promote Jackass 3D
There is something to be said about the clear head and perspective that sobriety brings a person. In Jackass star Steveo’s case, that something to be said is “Hey, lets set my head on fire to promote the new movie.”
Entertainment
VIDEO: Orchestra plays concert honoring the music of Nintendo
A few days ago the WDR Radio Orchestra put on a concert entitled “Symphonic Legends,” which was a tribute to the music of Nintendo. And they did an insanely amazing job covering the music of Zelda, Metroid and of course, Super Mario Bros.