Shawn Norris
Shawn Norris used to write things for National Lampoon and the now-defunct Blue Monkey Disco Party as "Douche Larue." Now he spends most of his time writing jokes, scripts, and trying to find a literary agent that will return his calls. Even though he wasn’t born yet, he often takes credit for faking the moon landing. Also, he’s allergic to tequila -- it makes him breakout in felonies.
Articles by Shawn Norris
Humor
Grandpa rocks out to Lady Gaga
This old guy makes me feel terrible. I took dance lessons for 5 years and I still can’t dance as well as he can. I guess I’ll tappa tappa tappa my butt over to the corner of the room and cry now.
Humor
“What have you done today to court LeBron James, NYC?”
ESPN’s Kenny Mayne hit’s the streets of New York City to ask people what they have done to court LeBron James today. Dude can’t even get gooseberries in that city right now.
Sports
7 reasons some Americans may never commit to liking soccer
I’ve been watching the World Cup and I have to say that I’m impressed. But more importantly, I’ve spent time with some people that really study and understand the game, and that’s been what has really swayed my opinion on the game. They explain everything in a way that
Humor
This robot prank completely pwned this crazy hacker kid
A kid on Xbox Live completely loses his head and starts spouting off on how he is going to hack into a somebody’s account and delete all their files. That’s when these guys pull an epic robo prank on the kid. NSFW
Humor
Darth Vader scores a GOOOOOOOALLLLLLL!!!
I would be much more likely to get up early and watch the World Cup if I knew that Darth Vader was taking penalty kicks for the Galactic Empire. I wonder what the Imperial March sounds like on a vuvuzela?
Humor
Pole dancing bears should be an Olympic sport
“Bears! Bears! Bears! Sharp teeth and burgandy lips. Bears! Bears! Bears! Dancing down on the Yellowstone Strip.”
Advice
7 things that will kill your chances of getting a date online
Internet dating sites are becoming hugely popular in these bustling times, and places like Yahoo! Personals and Match.com are boasting that 25% of relationships are now started on internet dating sites like themselves. This is great news for some folks, but it got me wondering if there isn’t a
Humor
Grandpa passes out in La-Z-Boy in the back of a moving truck
What happens when grandpa has a little too much to drink and you’re afraid he’s going to hurl in your work truck? Just throw him in back with his La-Z-Boy and drive him home.
Humor
A Florida dog ran over his owner while driving his truck
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: If you let your dog watch NASCAR, he’s gonna want to learn to drive. And once he/she does, it’s going to be all joyrides and paws-to-the-floor drag racing circuits for Fido.
Health
Some deemed ‘too fat’ for Harry Potter ride in new theme park
Apparently there are some wizards that are too large for the “Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey” ride at Orlando’s new Harry Potter theme park. Time to use your wand to conjure up a treadmill.
A lot of American’s are overweight. This is not a
Humor
70 pound heavy bag dropped off a roof and onto the family jewels
I dunno if this guy lost a bet or just won a bet, but I can’t think of ANY logical reason a human being would want to have a 70 pounds of heavy bag dropped off a roof and onto their family jewels. I guess you can ask this guy