Shawn Norris
Shawn Norris used to write things for National Lampoon and the now-defunct Blue Monkey Disco Party as "Douche Larue." Now he spends most of his time writing jokes, scripts, and trying to find a literary agent that will return his calls. Even though he wasn’t born yet, he often takes credit for faking the moon landing. Also, he’s allergic to tequila -- it makes him breakout in felonies.
Articles by Shawn Norris
Entertainment
On the next season of “Deadliest Catch” — none of the ships will have captains?
Well technically all ships have to have captains on them, but after an ugly lawsuit by the Discovery Channel pertaining to a breach-of-contract dispute, several of the captains on your favorite boats have decided to quit the show.
Celebs
Quentin Tarantino Friars Club Roast has been postponed
After the sudden and unexpected death of Tarantino’s longtime friend and editor, Sally Menke, the star-studded event has been postponed. Sad, but how have we not heard of this roast before today?
Entertainment
Another Twitter feed gets a TV deal from CBS
After a good showing with their first crack at turning a Twitter feed into a television show with “Bleep My Dad Says,” CBS has given a script deal to a guy that secretly writes about what his drunken roommate is doing all day. I’m sure this is tentatively titled “College.”
Sports
VIDEO: Sarah Palin booed on ‘Dancing with the Stars’
It’s hard to be the mother of a teenage daughter (I should know). It’s even harder when said daughter feels the need to take time out of her busy mothering schedule to compete in a nationally televised dance competition. But Sarah Palin is 100% behind her daughter -- and the crowd behind Sara Palin
Celebs
VIDEO: ‘The Leo Strut’ is the dance craze you’ve been dreaming about
A lot of you probably already know about the meme “The Leo Strut” which is a picture of Leonardo DiCaprio (taken from the film “Inception”) gleefully waltzing down the street while something horrible happens behind him. Well here is the official song for the meme, and it’s hilarious.
Celebs
VIDEO: ‘Sesame Shore’ introduces the world to the ‘Snooki Monster’
With all the current internet conversations surrounding Katy Perry getting axed from her appearance on Sesame Street, Jimmy Kimmel decided to show folks that it could always get worse. You could always accidentally take a wrong turn and end up on “Sesame Shore.”
Celebs
Emily Deschanel marries Rickety Cricket of ‘It’s Always Sunny’ fame
The lovely Emily Deschanel of the hit Fox show “Bones” was married this weekend to actor/director David Hornsby, who I couldn’t quite put my finger on where I had seen him before. Then I added a beard, decrepit green jacket, some dirt on his face and two trashcans and realized exactly where I
Celebs
Nick Cannon wants to fight Eminem; calls him out
Nick Cannon (aka Mr. Mariah Carey) apparently has some beef with Eminem (who doesn’t?) and has decided to re-open the wounds and take the feud to the boxing ring. Sounds like “America’s Got Talent” is trying to get a new job on “The Contender.”
Celebs
Lindsay Lohan is back in jail until the end of October
Lindsay Lohan was immediately cuffed and sent back to jail this morning when a judge FINALLY put his foot down on the substance-addled actress and refused to let her skate away with a slap on the wrist. Somewhere Paris Hilton does a line and laughs…
Celebs
Stephen Colbert hilariously testified in a House hearing this morning
Stephen Colbert went to Washington today, probably partially to help plan his “March to Keep Fear Alive” rally, but mostly to testify (in character) before a US House subcommittee about his time picking vegetables for the "Take Our Jobs" program. He did not disappoint.
Humor
VIDEO: Acrobat eats a table after handstand
Places like Cirque De Solei employ some of the most amazing acrobats in the world. But I always wondered what happens when they screwed up. They always look so uniform and well-trained that it’s hard to imagine a professional acrobat actually falling and hurting themselves. Well, this is what happens