Shawn Norris
Shawn Norris used to write things for National Lampoon and the now-defunct Blue Monkey Disco Party as "Douche Larue." Now he spends most of his time writing jokes, scripts, and trying to find a literary agent that will return his calls. Even though he wasn’t born yet, he often takes credit for faking the moon landing. Also, he’s allergic to tequila -- it makes him breakout in felonies.
Articles by Shawn Norris
Sports
9 athletes who desperately need a trip to Jenny Craig
Look, I’m not trying to poke too much fun at people who struggle with weight problems here. Some folks kill themselves with diet and exercise order to keep themselves healthy and fit. However, these men are paid millions upon millions of dollars to be in shape and play at
Entertainment
11 songs you can’t avoid hearing in a bar
Bars hold a special place in my heart. I’ve spent the good part of my youth either sitting in them, drinking in them and on about more than a few occasions, being removed from them by some sort of barland security. I can’t pinpoint the exact number, but second hand accounts and police reports like to put the over/under at 15. What can I say, when I have a bit of whiskey I have a tendency to get a tad mouthy. My point is--I’m an adult beverage establishment aficionado. I’ve saddled up to bars all across this great country and while the beer specials are always different, there is one thing that always remains the same.
Celebs
Can you guess the celebrity Halloween costume?
Celebrities these days really seem to love Halloween. Whether it’s Paris Hilton dressed as a slutty nurse to Paris Hilton dressed as a slutty cop or even Paris Hilton dressed as a slutty Batman; more and more celebs seem to be going all out while attending lavish Hollywood Halloween parties. But sometimes their costumes aren’t always obvious to the untrained eye. See if you can look at the picture and guess the what each celebrity is dressed as.
Sports
The 8 worst athlete music videos of all time
The modern day athlete is bigger stronger and faster than any generation of athlete before them. Their skills are honed to precision. Every skill except for singing. And sometimes dancing. Oh, and making sound decisions on music video attire. And music video scripts. And video ideas. And.. screw it, it's easier to show you the proof.
Sports
The 25 coolest names in the NFL
A lot can be said about a cool name. It can change the way people look at you. Say your parents give you a badass name like Spike. Now the chances of you getting beat-up at school probably go way down when you’ve got a name like that. Spike conjures up fear in people. However, the chances of you
Advice
7 stupid things men do to impress women
For thousands of years there has been Man. A few hours after Man was created, so too was Woman. Twice the beauty and only half the driving skills. And for thousands of years, Man has done utterly asinine things on account of Woman. Men have climbed the highest mountains, waged catastrophic wars, built
7 YouTube videos that could be considered child abuse
Now I understand that having kids is sometimes just another way to keep life interesting, but scaring the bejesus out of them is kinda wrong. Taping is even wronger, and then putting it up on YouTube for the whole world to laugh at…well, it’s pretty damn hysterical.
Humor
7 real-life women you’d need to survive on the LOST island
I watch the television show LOST. In my mind, that means I know everything there is to know about living on an Island in the South Pacific; and yes, that includes reincarnation, dealing with the Smoke Monster and those velociraptors that almost outsmarted those moron kids in the documentary Jurassic
Why dunking off the roof = Fail
When I was 8 years old, I dreamed of the day I’d be able to dunk a basketball. Soaring majestically towards the rim with my tongue out ala the Original #23; I would finally be like Mike. Six years and two feet of growth later, I finally lived my dream. The kids in these videos decided they couldn’t