Twitter Crazy: This (short) week’s best celebrity tweets

Twitter Crazy: This (short) week’s best celebrity tweets
eldh, Flickr
Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're thought-provoking, and sometimes we don't know what they're talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.

Photo credit: eldh, Flickr -Douglas Charles

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Pretty psyched about the quality and quantity of my zits today.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 19, 2012

Now that's positive thinking.

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Choosy moms don't choose Jif. They choose organic almond butter or some shit and then they don't shut up about it.
— chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) November 19, 2012

Sound familiar to anyone?

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It seems like the only time I use my house phone is when I need it to call my cell phone when I can't locate it. Am I alone in this?
— Kharma (@Kharma) November 19, 2012

No.

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I like humans. They're just not my absolute favourite animal.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) November 19, 2012

I'd put them about fifth on my list.

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Shower song o the day : Lykke Li, Dance Dance Dance. Oh Lykke, you fabulous.
— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) November 19, 2012

Okay. So we know she sings in the shower. Note made.

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POLL RESULTS (1183 VOTES): What size TV do you watch your games on? Top vote was 55 inch (23.7%), followed by 42 inch (21%)
— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) November 19, 2012

What size TV do you watch the games on?

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Sometimes I'll drive with my left tires over the lane bumps, just to remind myself I'm alive.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) November 19, 2012

By Friday you may need to do this as well.

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Finished all of my Christmas shopping today! Its feels sooo good! Now I need to pick a wrapping paper theme!
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) November 19, 2012

Have you picked your wrapping paper theme yet?

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Ugh. I just remembered that grown-ups call Thanksgiving "Turkey Day."
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) November 19, 2012

I call it stuff myself, watch football, and sleep on the couch day.

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GARY BETTMAN DUMB BITCH
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) November 19, 2012

I didn't know The Sheik was a hockey fan.

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hey everybody, YOLO, right?
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) November 19, 2012

He better just be fucking with us.

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Ke$ha scares me. It's like she's lip-syncing right at me.
— Michelle Beadle (@MichelleDBeadle) November 20, 2012

You're not alone. She scares a lot of people.

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I would watch a puppet show about Elmo's attorney.
— Gerry Duggan (@GerryDuggan) November 20, 2012

It would be PBS' new hit show.

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Twitter is great cuz it's really the best forum on which one should express & debate opinions about what's going on in the Middle East
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) November 20, 2012

No, Facebook is actually better for that.

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Don’t even FRONT like you love your family, America, or God if you don’t have a DETAILED & REHEARSED Black Friday tactical shopping plan.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) November 20, 2012

He's right, you know?

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Reading about paula broadwell threatening jill kelley over patraeus. This sounds more and more like an episode of basketball wives
— David Spade (@DavidSpade) November 20, 2012

Did he just admit he has watched Basketball Wives?

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After hearing about Elmo's escapades it’s no wonder Oscar is such a grouch….jealous bitch.
— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) November 20, 2012

Joan Rivers, ladies and gentlemen!

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Maybe this: imdb.com/name/nm2578007/ RT @kimkardashian Woke up today irritated & annoyed. Not sure why.
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) November 20, 2012

Burn.

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I’m already annoyed with the media’s coverage of “Black Friday”.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) November 20, 2012

Join the club.

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Headed to my parents house. Anyone know if you can hook an ipad up to dial-up?
— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) November 20, 2012

I'm sure there's an app for that.

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Today is going to be the best day of my life.
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 20, 2012

I wonder how that worked out.

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So the NCAA basketball scoring record was shattered by a little white guy. Well played Mayans, well played.
— Gregory Shane Helms (@ShaneHelmsCom) November 21, 2012

Yep. It's all over now.

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What's a good app for interacting with my family at the Thanksgiving dinner table?
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) November 21, 2012

Have a good Turkey Day, folks! (Oops.)

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How about another?

THAT’S IT FOR THIS ONE. HOW ABOUT ANOTHER?

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