Charlie Sheen: I’m on a drug called “Charlie Sheen”

Pull up a chair, folks, this is going to take awhile.

In what can only be described as the greatest public relations move ever, Charlie Sheen showed up on Entertainment Tonight’s Web site (with his personal adult film starlet Bree Olson) sporting an interesting new look and showing off his sweet new tattoo.

At this point I am wondering if Charlie Sheen isn’t playing us the way Joaquin Phoenix tried to play us, only Chuck is doing it 100 times better than Phoenix did. I mean, there’s no way one person can really be this disconnected from reality/awesome, can there be?

As you may recall, Sheen discussed this new tattoo of his during his epic rant on The Alex Jones Show:

“[It's] the banner from the death card that Kilgore [from Apocalypse Now] is throwing on his victims, but there’s also falling from it, is the apple from The Giving Tree. There’s my life. Deal with it. Oh wait, can’t process it? Losers. Winning. Buh bye.”

As for what Charlie is currently up to, well, he was/is in the Bahamas with Olson and Natalie Kenly, his former nanny. His current/ex-wife Brooke Mueller was supposed to go there too, but for some reason she didn’t quite make it.

As for what they were doing down there, I assume that Charlie and his two ‘friends’ were there curing alcoholism with their minds and not doing drugs while having some much-needed anal sex, but I could be wrong on those counts. I mean, I know he’s on drugs, he admits right here that he’s on a drug called “Charlie Sheen.”

Never mind. Everything is obviously just fine here.

I say he was/is in the Bahamas because frankly at this point I don’t know where he is. According to Radaronline.com he flew back on Friday and, wait for it, PASSED a drug test they administered. No, really, they actually said that. In print. Did you just watch the video above? Dude looks like he’s halfway through death’s door. (I bet they didn’t test for “Charlie Sheen.”)

So, until our next Charlie Sheen update (and there will be more I am sure), here’s something sure to keep you occupied and entertained: The Charlie Sheen Quote Randomizer! (My personal fave: “There is such a thing as too much fun. It gets redundant. How many times can you wake up and struggle to remember your name, her name and where you are?” from right after he claimed to be a born-again Christian… in 1996.)

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