November 4, 2011 10:00 am

Courtney Stodden is a natural beauty

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It’s been like a week since we heard from teen bride Courtney Stodden so you knew the silence wouldn’t go on forever, and it didn’t as now Courtney has changed things up by going out in public without any makeup on (and barely any clothes). Now that I’ve seen her without makeup, I’d have she looks just like every other 17 year-old girl married to a 51 year-old semi-employed actor that I’ve ever seen. (And NO way those are real. Sorry.)

Of course, we can’t just have pictures, we also have quotes. CREEPY AS HELL QUOTES!

“Courtney looks the most beautiful when she steps out of the shower soaking wet,” her mother Krista Stodden told RadarOnline.com. “But she’s a girl and she loves to wear makeup.”

The Teen Bride has been adamant about the fact that she has never had plastic surgery, and especially not a boob job, but in this sexy outfit her chest looked like it had some strange lines.

“Skin cancer awareness is an issue that is near and dear to Courtney’s heart because I’m a melanoma survivor,” her mother said and explained what the lines are. “She only uses self tanner and never goes to a tanning bed so sometimes it accumulates on her chest.”

Whoa, whoa… WHOA. Back the truck up. “Courtney looks the most beautiful when she steps out of the shower soaking wet.” said HER MOM?! I’m going to need a moment to gather my thoughts…

Okay, I got nothing, other than a lame “what else accumulates on her chest” joke that would be totally inappropriate when talking about a 17 year-old (and no I still don’t think she’s really 17, but I’m going to err on the side of caution here). Besdies, that shower quote really speaks for itself. I do, however, think that it’s now a three-horse race for sleaziest mother in Hollywood with Kristen Stodden closing the gap on Kris Jenner and Dina Lohan.