August 25, 2010 2:33 pm

Heidi Montag no longer likes her ginormous breasts

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After 10 plastic surgery procedures that cost an estimated $30,000, which included rhinoplasty and a breast augmentation that boosted her cup size to a DDD, it seems the former Hills star now has some regrets about becoming a walking Barbie doll. Heidi says she wants to go back to life where she’s not a walking flotation device.

heidi 1 Heidi Montag no longer likes her ginormous breasts

It only took a few months of agonizing pain and countless (shameless) interview rounds for Montag to finally question her decision to get implants that make watermelons jealous. The singer (*snickers*) said she is worried that all the work she has had will have long-term ramifications on her health.

“My boobs are crushing me,” Montag, 23, tells Life & Style. “My body’s still getting used to them and I have major anxiety about it.” She also says her breasts are “so heavy” they constantly strain her back.

Boy, it sounds like that epiphany would have been a good one to have before undergoing surgery in the first place. Who could have known that massive reconstructive surgery could lead to health problems? Oh, that’s right, all the doctors in Hollywood that turned your request for breast augmentation down after explaining to you that the surgery was far too risky and would lead to more serious health problems down the road.

Heidi says she’s had nose tape on “24 hours a day since November,” hoping to “keep the swelling down and hold my nose in place the way Dr. Ryan sculpted it. I don’t want my nose to fall off like Michael Jackson’s.”

Didn’t have the nose tape on for the cover of People Magazine, did you? It’s all about staying relevant and beautiful and being famous — not your health and well being. It seems the price of fame and naivety have caught up with yet another reality show personality clinging to a fading spotlight. Although it seems it did have some positive effect on her life, as it got rid of Spencer Pratt.