July 20, 2010 9:01 am

Jersey Shore Cast threatens to walk, write books instead

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The talentless guidos are at it again this week, as they have apparently now gone on strike as MTV films the second season of their cultural train wreck Jersey Shore. They have threatened to write books if their demands aren’t met. Who knew they could even read?

When you have no discernible talent and the economy is in shambles, it’s always a good idea to ask your company for a raise. That’s apparently what they teach the kids today at the Situation School Of Business. The cast went on strike over the weekend and is now asking for an obscene $30,000 per episode to continue filming or they are going to walk.

jersey shore1 Jersey Shore Cast threatens to walk, write books instead

The Hollywood Reporter says MTV will soon get the gang back for somewhere around $30,000 per episode – a 200 percent increase over last season.

It is truly the end of days for culture when these people can get $30,000 a week to drink and catch venereal diseases in Miami Beach. And on top of that they want to write books? Books? How do you insert fist pumps into books? Is it a pop-up book? Books: How do they work?

The Situation is already set to release a self-improvement (what else?) book called “Here’s the Situation.” The advice tome will find the muscular “Jersey Shore” star handing down wisdom regarding proper grooming, tanning tips, and hitting the gym to get those ripped abs.

Yeah, we all need to know the best way to tan. Tanning is so mind-numbingly difficult that I’m going to need at least 4 chapters on it or I fear I’ll end up becoming a flabby albino mess. It’ll probably be the first book written on orange paper, so that the people reading won’t feel awkward about the self-tanner on their hands smearing all over words that I’m sure will rival Hemmingway, insomuch as they are in fact legible words and not just pictures of “The Situation” pointing to his stomach.

If it actually is written in word form, it will be the first book ever transcribed in crayon, jello shots and Ed Hardy stickers.

His fellow “Shore” residents are horning in on the world of letters as well. Jenni “J-Woww” Farley and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro are set to publish “Never Fall in Love at the Jersey Shore”

Best case scenario is that this book is printed in vodka…

Seriously, MTV needs to kick these morons to the curb. They all love exercise, so why not let them walk all the way back to Jersey?

‘Jersey Shore’ Cast Goes On Strike, Writes Books [Aol TV]