September 24, 2010 1:54 pm

Lindsay Lohan is back in jail until the end of October

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Lindsay Lohan was immediately cuffed and sent back to jail this morning when a judge FINALLY put his foot down on the substance-addled actress and refused to let her skate away with a slap on the wrist. Somewhere Paris Hilton does a line and laughs…

lohan passed out Lindsay Lohan is back in jail until the end of October

“Substance abuse is a disease, which unfortunately doesn’t go away over night,” Lohan posted on her Twitter feed last Friday. “I am working hard to overcome it and am taking positive steps.

Well this should probably help. Spending a few more nights in the clink will probably dry her out this time around after she blatantly disregarded her SCRAM bracelet last week and was reported to be drinking whiskey while tweeting her apology to fans over this whole “substance abuse” situation.

The hearing lasted less than 10 minutes (that’s almost as long as people could stand to watch her last film before leaving the theater) and she was immediately cuffed and led back to prison, as a dumbfounded courtroom must have been wondering what the hell had just happened. This is Los Angeles after all–famous people are supposed to be able to whatever they want with no repercussions.

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Elden S. Fox would not listen to arguments for bail from Lohan’s attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley.

And Elden S. Fox should be given some sort of medal. Look, it’s a personal problem to be publicly intoxicated or addicted to cocaine, but when someone as reckless, arrogant and rich gets behind the wheel of an automobile like Lindsay is prone to doing, you just know something terrible was going to happen unless she actually spent a good amount of time in jail thinking things over and not binge drinking while blowing lines off a magazine with her picture on the cover. The girl almost ran over a baby in a stroller only a few days after getting out of jail the last time!

But this time, the judge’s order diminishes the likelihood that Lohan will be released before an Oct. 22 hearing, when her positive drug test will be discussed.

Another few weeks in jail will do her good and she’ll certainly be out in time for Halloween, which is exciting. Maybe this year she can even dress up as a normal functioning member of society? Nah, she’ll probably just go as “Keith Moon on a bender” again.