Guyism: What Guys Need

Keep track on: RSS Tumblr Twitter Facebook
sign up for your daily Guyism

Hey! Get Guyism's best in your inbox!

Sign up now --> http://guy.to/J2JpAA

Single Page View August 30, 2012 2:00 pm

Ranking the hot hookups of Orlando Bloom

Ranking the hot hookups of Orlando Bloom

Ranking the hot hookups of Orlando Bloom
Sure, Orlando Bloom may have settled down with a supermodel, Miranda Kerr, but prior to that his dating history was on its way to legendary status. (It may still have attained it.) As you will see, Miranda was just the cherry on top of this British star's dating sundae. Tasty! But where does he rank all time amongst celebrity ladies men? Read on to find out.

Photo: YouTube -Douglas Charles

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Jemma Kidd (Date Unclear)
Kidd was a fashion model who has since become an English countess and a famous make up artist. Reportedly the two were engaged at some point, but finding out the dates for that is apparently top secret.

Hookup score: 8.5
Bonus points for scoring her before he became famous (I think).

Photo: YouTube

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Sienna Miller (2001)
Dated briefly, which is pretty much Sienna Miller's M.O. (She's kind of a serial dater.) Unconfirmed rumors were floated that after she broke up with Jude Law she tried hooking up with Bloom for a second go-round.

Hookup score: 8.5
Dating a beauty like Sienna Miller is nice, but it's not much of accomplishment.

Photo: YouTube

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Kate Bosworth (2002-2006)
Dated off and on for four years, but broke up while Bloom was in the Bahamas filming Pirates of the Caribbean. I wonder why?

Hookup score: 9.0
Locking down Kate Bosworth for four years without a ring? Smooth.

Photo: YouTube

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Helena Christensen (2003)
She was a 34 year-old supermodel, he was a 26 year-old actor coming off the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. They met when she was photographing him for a magazine article.

Hookup score: 10.0
Helena was the bomb back in the day.

Photo: YouTube

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Kirsten Dunst (2005)
Dunst and Bloom met on the set of Elizabethtown. Dated during one of Orlando and Kate Bosworth's many breaks.

Hookup score: 8.0
She was pretty famous at the time and surely he got to see her naked, so, not bad.

Photo: YouTube

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Vanessa Minnillo (2005)
Minnillo interviewed him on TRL, then almost immediately went on a date with him. She said that she was nervous just standing near him.

Hookup score: 8.5
Again, she was famous at the time, fresh off dating Derek Jeter.

Photo: YouTube

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Penelope Cruz (2006)
Dated for just a few weeks after he broke up with Kate Bosworth. Luckily, it didn't last because if they would have had children the kids would have been way too good looking.

Hookup score: 10.0
Talk about trading up.

Photo: YouTube

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Naomie Harris (2007)
Rememeber Naomie Harris? She played Calypso in the second and third Pirates of the Caribbean films.

Hookup score: 8.5
Hmmm... Perhaps now we know why Orlando and Kate broke up for good while he was filming the second Pirates movie.

Photo: YouTube

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Miranda Kerr (2007-Present)
After dating for almost three years, Kerr and Bloom were wed. Then they had a kid. Is that it for Orlando?

Hookup score: 10.0
Still giving him a 10 despite the fact that he married her, because, well, it's Miranda freaking Kerr.

Other less-substantiated alleged flings: Joanne Morley, Christina Ricci

Photo: YouTube

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Final Tally

Orlando Bloom's Hookup Score: 81 points
Sixth place! Not too shabby considering he's been off the market for the the better part of the last five years.

1. Leonardo DiCaprio - 187 points
2. Jack Nicholson - 163
3. Charlie Sheen - 136
4. George Clooney - 93
5. Justin Timberlake - 82
6. Orlando Bloom - 81
7. Derek Jeter - 80
8. Joe Jonas - 77
9. Ryan Reynolds - 75
10. Ryan Gosling - 72
11. Kanye West - 71
12t. Colin Farrell - 70
12t. Adam Levine - 70
14. Sean Penn - 69
15. Johnny Depp - 67
16. Jake Gyllenhaal - 66
17t. Alexander Skarsgard - 62
17t. Wilmer Valderrama - 62
17t. Gerard Butler - 62
20. John Mayer - 60
21. Bradley Cooper - 57
22. Edward Norton - 51

(Photos: Bloom, Bosworth, Christensen, Cruz, Dunst, Harris, Kerr, Kidd, Miller, Minnillo)

Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
How about another?

THAT’S IT FOR THIS ONE. HOW ABOUT ANOTHER?

GIFterpiece Theatre: Lochte bro reacts to Carmen Electra’s magical breasts

Must See Imagery: 50 funny pics to brighten your Tuesday

Jennifer Aniston GIFs — The Guyism Animated GIFs Anthology

Next

Previous

comment on this story

blog comments powered by Disqus