This Week in Celebrity Gossip: Only two men?

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

Megan Fox claims that she has only been with two men in her entire life. “I’ve only been with two men my entire life. My childhood sweetheart and Brian. I can never have sex with someone that I don’t love, ever. The idea makes me sick. I’ve never even come close to having a one-night stand.” Finally an explanation for why she is still with this dink. She has no clue what she’s been missing.

Sean Penn recently displayed his charming personality by saying of critics of his recent mercy mission to Haiti, that he hopes they all die of rectal cancer. Seriously. “Do I hope that those people die screaming of rectal cancer? Yeah. You know, but I’m not going to spend a lot of energy on it,” says Penn. So, why do I foresee it being Penn that someday dies a horrible death?

Naomi Campbell was accused of slapping her New York City driver. He said she then jumped out of the car and fled. The driver spent hours giving a detailed statement to police, but then, according to officers, declined to press charges and asked that the report be closed. I guess he’s going to sue her in civil court, which makes sense since the last thing Naomi can be is ‘civil’.

Sting has been taking it on the nose for performing last October at an “arts festival” put on by the daughter of Uzbekistan’s strongarm dictator, Islam Karimov. (He’s the former communist party boss who, since 1991, keeps getting “elected” as his political opponents or their bodies keep disappearing.) So much for him being a part of the Police, huh?

Pam Anderson is making headlines Down Under as a controversial commercial for the Perth, Australia -based Internet group “Crazy Domains” has been pulled because of a public outcry. The ad is a Carls Jr. -meets- GoDaddy commercial in which she is seen pouring milk onto another rather busty beauty. Wait, where’d you go? Come back…

Academy Award nominee Mo’Nique had this to say recently about her infamously unshaven legs. “he {her husband) loves the hairy legs,” Mo says, “and if Sid likes the hairy legs, there you go.” Blerghhhsuhttthh… Trust me, you do not want to click the link to the rest of this story.

Jessica Simpson stopped by Oprah and spoke about John Mayer’s controversial Playboy interview where he described her as “sexual napalm” and “crack cocaine.” Says Jess, “He did apologize. I don’t accept it. It’s just one of those things that…I don’t resent him. I’m just going to let that go. That part of my life is over.” Yeah he said were awesome in the sack. What a dick. I bet she’s crying her eyes out over that one.

Kim Kardashian recently picked out a $4.8 million, five bedroom, 4.5 bathroom Mediterranean-esque villa to store all of her shit in. There are also rumors that Reggie Bush plans on moving into the new house as well. NOW how much do you hate her?

Elin Woods is moving back in with Tiger. Reportedly. On Wednesday, Elin and Tiger spent approximately three hours together at the house where they will once again live together. Of course, Tiger’s penis will have to live elsewhere.

As if the surgeries weren’t enough, now Heidi Montag wants a baby… to generate headlines. “Heidi wants to have a baby. She also knows it will probably generate a lot of attention,” said the friend, who claims that the couple is already trying to conceive. “It seems like she’ll do anything to stay relevant.” One problem. You never have, and never will be, relevant. Side note: Why do I always hear the “kill kill kill” sound from the Friday the 13th movies when I read stories about Heidi? (Just kidding… sort of.)

Lindsay Lohan is writing a book. That’s all I am going to say about that. Just going to let you noodle on that for awhile.

Rihanna’s personal trainer is suing her. “In the law suit, Cindy [Percival] claims she was hired by the singer to perform ‘exclusive personal training services’ at a rate of $1,500-a-day but wasn’t paid for a few weeks work between September and October.” $1,500 a day? WTF? Seriously? That’s it. I am making my kids become personal trainers to stars. End of discussion.

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