Twitter Crazy: This week’s best celebrity tweets

Twitter Crazy: This week’s best celebrity tweets
eldh, Flickr
Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're thought-provoking, and sometimes we don't know what they're talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.

Photo credit: eldh, Flickr -Douglas Charles

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From now on, I'm doing the Beyonce boss walk everywhere.
— NiC0LE P0LiZZi (@snooki) February 4, 2013

Me too.

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When I don't understand a movie poster I just assume the movie is based on a young adult novel.
— Ben Schwartz (@rejectedjokes) February 4, 2013

Seems like a reasonable policy.

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I just made a cup of coffee and didn't put any sugar in it for the first time ever, cuz that's the kind of brave fuckin hero I am.
— erinn hayes (@hayeslady) February 4, 2013

That's the kind of attitude that's made America great.

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The people who deliver room service are consistently unrapeable. Touché hotel management.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) February 4, 2013

They aren't in management for nothing.

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Victoria's Secret reps were nasty to @kateupton and now she is doing great.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 4, 2013

Thank you, Mr. Obvious.

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A-ROD? 19 injections? Allegedly. Is he a member of the Yankees or Motley Crue?
— Jim Rome (@jimrome) February 5, 2013

Vince Neil is offended by this remark.

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Drinkin' Bud, Pissin' Blood -- you're welcome, country music songwriters
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) February 5, 2013

I'd pay good money to hear Carrie Underwood sing that line.

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Lindsay Lohan was turned away from two hotels last week. Mary and Joseph had an easier time finding a room.
— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) February 5, 2013

That's actually pretty good. +1 Joan.

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Yes, i agree with the ppl who argue that cars can be as deadly as guns but a car is a lot harder to get through the door of a classroom. ;^]
— Jim Carrey (@JimCarrey) February 5, 2013

Shh. Don't give the kooks out there any ideas.

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Big cheers to the man outside Ari's house who just saw my boobs. Mazel Tov.
— Elizabeth Gillies (@LizGillies) February 5, 2013

Thanks!

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Sometimes I feel like The Bachelor is an artificial construct and not the best way to find a soulmate. Then I shake it off.
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) February 5, 2013

Way to fight through it, Josh.

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Wolf Blitzer just said study says alcohol and diet soda are a bad mix. #justshootmenow #getitoverwith What's next?
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) February 5, 2013

Let's just say everything is bad for us and not talk about it anymore.

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Got a callback for the role of “poop girl.” Hollywood really IS the land of dreams!
— Melissa Stetten(@MelissaStetten) February 5, 2013

All of the greats started in roles with "poop" in the characters' name.

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They should make a medal for anyone that uses a whole tube of Chapstick before losing it.
— Bree Olson (@BreeOlson) February 5, 2013

No point. It's never happened.

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Just went through security and a TSA employee looked at me and said, "Tell me a joke."I just said, "You're good at your job."
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) February 6, 2013

That would have killed with a rimshot accompaniment.

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Armenian! And Egypt RT @kimberlyk411: @kimkardashian What's one country you wanna visit that you've never been in?
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) February 6, 2013

Or Armenia. One of those places.

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Did they name it "Movie 43" after how many people saw it?
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) February 6, 2013

That's a rather high estimate, don't you think?

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Absolutely nothing makes me happier than good music.
— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) February 6, 2013

Well, then she's never met any of us, amirite guys?

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Patience is a necessary ingredient of genius. -Benjamin Disraeli
— Paris Hilton (@ParisHilton) February 6, 2013

Your moment of surreality.

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You hear me…. “Get the hell out of here now”! My acting skills are ludicrous! #SVU
— Mike Tyson (@MikeTyson) February 7, 2013

God love Iron Mike.

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If it's wrong to have Ranch dressing for breakfast, then I don't want to be right.
— Lucy Hale (@lucyhale) February 7, 2013

Sounds like a keeper here, fellas.

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Megan Fox plays herself in a Motorola commercial and still isn't convincing.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) February 7, 2013

Maybe she should go into car show modeling.

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Friends don’t let friends tweet pictures of snow. We all know what it looks like.
— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) February 8, 2013

That is all.

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How about another?

THAT’S IT FOR THIS ONE. HOW ABOUT ANOTHER?

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