Twitter Crazy: This week’s best celebrity tweets

Twitter Crazy: This week’s best celebrity tweets
eldh, Flickr
Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're thought-provoking, and sometimes we don't know what they're talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.

Photo credit: eldh, Flickr -Douglas Charles

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Today we should all remember our presidents the way they were meant to be remembered, as masks worn by bank robbing surfers in Point Break.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) February 18, 2013

That there is how you show true patriotism.

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If Mindy McCready was indeed the 5th suicide in two seasons of Dr Drew-maybe producers need to find a new angle
— Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) February 18, 2013

And the patients need a new doctor.

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Just when I brainwashed myself to believe humans are not barnyard animals, I venture into an airplane lavatory w the toilet seat up
— Bonnie Bernstein (@BonnieBernstein) February 19, 2013

Well, you do kind of feel like cattle on an airplane.

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Feel the chi. Repulse the monkey. Part the wild horses mane.
— Aaron Rodgers (@AaronRodgers12) February 19, 2013

Solid advice.

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Europe, what's up with shitty weather everywhere? Can I please request some sunshine for tomorrow?
— Anne V (@AnneV) February 19, 2013

Why does it always seem odd to me when a supermodel swears?

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"Stressed spelled backward is desserts, coincidence? I think not" -Ellsworth Statler
— Kylie Bisutti (@VSKylie) February 19, 2013

I have no idea what that even means.

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Johnnie Cochran is cackling and rolling a blunt RT @slate: Oscar Pistorius' version of Reeva Steenkamp's killing: po.st/nUAq65
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) February 19, 2013

Oscar might want to give him a call.

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If i could pick one person to go to @bonnaroo with it would be arsenio hall @arseniohall
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

Really??

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Even commercials for reality shows hurt my soul.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) February 20, 2013

They hurt everyone's soul.

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Took the garbage out...very much like when you breathe in & you feel your nasal passage ice up, I literally felt my fucking Vagina freeze.
— Adrianne Curry (@AdrianneCurry) February 20, 2013

She should be on The Weather Channel.

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"Dora" and "explorer" don't rhyme, and never have, but people seem to go about their business as of it doesn't matter.
— Paula Poundstone (@paulapoundstone) February 20, 2013

And how come Swiper never gets arrested?

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Planning my Oscar snacks. What goes with smarmy fakeness?
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) February 20, 2013

Tofu?

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Those Discover cards ads that say "we treat you like you'd treat you" don't really work cause I feel like I'd treat me like a real dick.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) February 20, 2013

Good point.

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Contents of the table next to my bed: 2 boxes of girl scout cookies & birth control pills. Delicious, yet safe.
— Melissa Stetten(@MelissaStetten) February 20, 2013

It's like a single girl's survival kit.

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Only a couple years ago I was serving @budweiser behind homeplate for @bluejays Hope I can throw a first pitch this summer-fingers crossed!!
— Ashley Diana Morris (@Ashleydmorris) February 20, 2013

Re: THIS.

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I found her! I found the fartiest old person at this grocery store and she's in line in front of me arguing about her change! What do I win?
— erinn hayes (@hayeslady) February 20, 2013

A lifetime supply of that memory.

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Blocked my first Juggalo today.
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) February 20, 2013

The first one is always the hardest.

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Oh, Google Glasses... we'll never feel rude for checking our phones 24/7 again!
— Hilary Rhoda (@HilaryHRhoda) February 20, 2013

Yes, it's a brave new world now.

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Happy Birthday, @rihanna! I have your present. It is a wax double of my body for your private pleasure. And a gift card for Best Buy.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 20, 2013

Damn, guess I'll have to return my gift.

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everyone is terrible
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) February 20, 2013

That's true.

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I also like beer.
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) February 21, 2013

Just so you know.

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My Twitter has been seriously hacked--- and we are looking for the perpetrators.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 21, 2013

You mean you didn't really tweet,
"These hoes think they classy, well that's the class I'm skippen"?

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Any nice men over 45 out there? Give me a call at 866 675-6675 :) I'm LIVE right now on Sirius XM Stars 107 talking about online dating
— Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart) February 21, 2013

Martha Stewart: Online Dating Expert.

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80% of the time I don't have a fucking clue as to what you people are talking about
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 21, 2013

That percentage is lower than mine.

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How about another?

THAT’S IT FOR THIS ONE. HOW ABOUT ANOTHER?

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